Q: Are the food trucks actually good? Street: Not only are they actually good, they're AWESOME! Sure, we understand your trepidation; it's food that someone's serving out of a window of a van... that sounds like salmonella, botulism, e. coli, and/or Ben Franklin's revenge waiting to happen. And as a freshman, it can be pretty hard to figure out how to best use your meal plan. You grow to hate Commons food, yet you feel strangely obligated to use up your meal swipes. Here's what you do: only use your swipes to stock up on the essentials while in the dining halls. FroGro is sooo far from the Quad, and with a big enough bag and some Tupperware there's no need to buy their overpriced crap. Seriously, steal whole loaves of bread, cartons of milk, bushels of apples, bags of cereal... a kid on my hall even made off with a whole pumpkin last November.
Granted, you may be someone who likes their food served lukewarm and flavorless, and if so keep eating your meals at King's Court by all means. But if you like delicious, quick, inexpensive food served right outside the Quad and Hill, you should really hit up the food trucks. Plus, they have something for pretty much everyone: vegetarian Magic Carpet for free–spirits and various japs, the Fruit Cart for health–crazed sorority girls, Bui's for hungover frat boys and a certain Street Editor in Chief — the possibilities are endless.
Q: Am I allowed to ride my horse Juniper around campus? Street: Although there’s no problem with riding Juniper, parking the horse during classes will be your greatest concern. We’d like to direct you to the bike racks scattered conveniently around campus, and we suggest you use a sturdy U–lock to keep Juniper secure. (You’ll learn about this type of lock at the public safety lecture, the mandatory nature of which is addressed below.) Whatever you ultimately decide, aptly named Juniper should feel right at home among Pine, Walnut, Chestnut, and Locust streets.
Q: When NSO events say "mandatory," are they really mandatory or is that to get as many people as possible to attend? Street: NSO events, basically, are about as mandatory as you want them to be. You aren't going to get kicked out of Penn if you don't go to, say, the author seminar on whatever the Penn Reading Project book was (don't worry, no one else read it either). You're right in that the people behind NSO are trying to get as many people as possible to attend – but that's mainly just because they want you to meet people. And for NSO, isn't that sort of the point? That said, do not miss the Museum Party, the Toga Party and the post–Convocation desserts.
Q: What is a Provost? Who is this person? What does he do? I keep hearing about him, but I don't understand what his job is. Street: As you all know from your thorough research for the Why Penn essay, Dear Ol’ Ben had nine brothers and seven sisters. This meant a lot of pesky nephews bugging him every year to land them a summer internship. Franklin was already used to inventing whatever he needed, so when he founded the University and all the remaining positions were occupied, he took no issue with fabricating the Provost title for his youngest nephew. To this day, no one really knows what its responsibilities entail.
Q: Explain BYOs. Street: Pennsylvania has funny liquor laws. Philadelphia has more restaurants than available liquor licenses, so many places let customers bring their own alcohol and drink it from the restaurant's glasses. The good thing is that most BYOs don't card. It's one of the best parts of Penn that Admissions doesn't tell you about.
Q: Can I bring my parakeet in my dorm room? They said no dogs or cats at Preview but nothing about birds and I've had this parakeet for five years so we are pretty attached. Street: As a parakeet owner myself, let me tell you: definitely bring your bird. Take your biggest cage — even if you initially have a roommate, after living with Peetey, you’ll have a single in no time. Now put paper down on the entire floor, and your parakeet can fly freely around your room. You might wonder what people think about your dorm afterwards, but don’t worry: in my experience, nobody will want to enter your room anyway.
Q: How does going to class feel after the last day of NSO? Should I transfer to Penn State after September 7th? Street: Let’s face it, there’s only so many days that you can jump around bouncy castles, stuff your faces with dessert and wake up at noon on a Tuesday with a hangover. After A–Gut tells you during Convocation that you’re class is the “best” and “smartest” blah blah blah that Penn has ever known, you may just be inspired to prove it. So get in your “Not Penn State” mindset (but don’t ever wear the t–shirt… ever), grab some coffee and go to school. You may just enjoy yourself.
Q: Are there a lot of people dressed up as Quakers walking around in general? I'm afraid of clowns and our mascot gives me the same vibe... Street: Seeing a giant Quaker roaming Franklin Field during football games can be disconcerting at first, but there's nothing to be afraid of. After all, Quakers are quite affable and docile by nature, so rest assured they won't replace clowns in your nightmares. Also, be thankful we even have a real mascot. What the hell is a Crimson anyways...
Q: How awkward are NSO hookups after the fact? Street: Honestly, many NSO hookups result in long term monogamous relationships. Ha, NOT. The awkwardness is usually palpable within a ten mile radius.
Q: Are there good dance parties to go to? Not necessarily to get drunk, but just to dance? Street: Sober or smashed, every party has the potential to become a great dance party. Just get on to the dance floor and start doing your thing. That said, a sober mind will attune you to things that you are probably better off not seeing. Might we suggest a Penn dance troop, all of which are listed here? This way you can get your dance on with fellow students who won't vomit on you or pass out in the middle of the that catchy number.
Q: I have heard that a lot of people hook up at fraternity parties during NSO. How many is too many hookups? Because I don't want to be a total slut. Street: After hooking up with two or more boys from the same chapter you'll probably get an undesirable nickname.
Q: How can I write for this brilliant publication? Street: First of all, flattery will get you far, so you’re already on the right track. Every Thursday after an issue we hold a Writers’ Meeting at 6:30 p.m. at out office (4015 Walnut). Our first print issue is September 15, so we hope to see you then for beer, chat and free prizes! Info is on our website. Click here.
Read Part 1 of Ask Ego responses here.
Read the rest of our NSO Freshman Guide here.
