Patrick Ford-Matz
ARTICLES
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Our Better Half
We didn’t ask for this to be easy. We didn’t come to Penn looking for a relaxing four–year spring break.
Film
B Roll: Roger Ebert Was A Fucking Idiot
Beneath a canopy of crucifixes, I train my gun on a cowering creep with a major hard–on for Jesus.
Multimedia
You Have to Listen to This: Sam Smith
Like every other fad-tracking fool, I got the Macklemore haircut this summer. Shaved the sides, left the top long, strutted out from the barber feeling like a progressive pop star, albeit shorter and more modestly dressed.
Within a week, I was regretting my choice and whining nonstop about what seemed to be an unending onslaught of unfriendly comparisons to the “Same Love” MC, my favorite of which was “You look like a young Macklemore, but even gayer.” One friend though, went a different route.
Music
OneRepublic—"Native"
After a four-year hiatus, OneRepublic frontman Ryan Tedder’s cotton candy falsetto is back and in top flighty form.
The Love Survey
It’s going to be the best time of your life: We were freshmen when your father said he could spend the rest of his life with me until death or incarceration do us part. Beneath those Locust lights, I knew he was the one.
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Calm Down Before the Storm
Standing on the corner of 43rd and Market with my weight in canned food sitting like a ton of steel inside my housemate’s hiking–sized megabackpack, my spine caving into an awful kind of inverted “U,” I truly began to understand the concept of the sophomore slump.
Ego
The Art of SABS
The art of the SABS is simple in origin, yet complex in execution. Release yourself from the constraints of humility — let your Ego soar. You deserve it, you beautiful person.
Ego
Campus Tour Translator
We know what Penn tour guides are saying to prospective students. But what aren’t they saying?
Ego
Your Year in Review
Let Ego help you calculate how much your year sucked/sort of sucked with this easy quiz — keep track of your score as you make your way through it.
Ego
For First-Time Flingers
If you're a Fling virgin, don't stress. Let us help you make the most of your first time. It won't hurt, we promise.
Ego
Extreme Merchandise Makeover
Why settle for an object’s original use when you can use it creatively?
Tv
Le Voyeur: What Returning/New Shows To Watch This Season
Smash
Watch out Glee, there’s a new gay musical show in town, and it’s actually good.
Music
Album Review: Born To Die
Let me preface this review by noting the grudge I hold against Lana Del Ray for shaming SNL with the most breathy, awkward, wince–inducing performance I’ve seen since passing an asthmatic homeless woman choking out “At Last” in a New York subway station.
Ego
How-To: Survive Pledging
Pledging can often seem like a nightmarish, life-ruining, tequila-soaked wrecking ball crashing through your perfect little life, but it’s not totally unmanageable. Take some of Ego’s loving advice.
Word on the street
Post-Break Depression
I’m only a freshman, but newborn and noobish as I may be, I like to think I’ve figured some things out about this place.
PennConnects
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