Jackson Price

How I learned to make my own happiness.
November 3, 2016 at 1:47 am

Take a sip every time... Trump says “win,” “winning,” or “winner” Bonus sip if he says “wiener” Trump licks his lips after a sip of water Those damn immigrants stealing our jobs and our chapstick Hillary makes awkward eye contact with the camera You may have been Ready for Hillary, but we doubt you were Ready for That Really Uncomfortable Second of Eye Contact Trump’s left eyebrow moves up CNN might need to consider zooming out more to make sure Trump’s eyebrow doesn’t float out of the frame Hillary fake laughs She’s the Jimmy Fallon of politics Trump sharply inhales through his nose or breathes heavily into mic Border patrol data shows that every time Trump blows his nose, an illegal immigrant crosses the border (not a great argument, but better than most of his) A sexist comment is made and you get excited to see social media blow up Our generation is not great at voting, but damn can we get angry on Facebook Chug for the duration of time... It takes Hillary to slow–motion blink like a Ferbie Political analysts have calculated that Hillary spent a total of 41 minutes blinking during the first debate Hillary is motionless No, the right half of your screen isn’t frozen—she just sometimes forgets to move.
October 9, 2016 at 5:36 pm