Lowbrow

October 16, 2008 at 3:45 am

Follow these rules and at least you'll get drunk before you cry yourself to sleep 1. Palin pauses: Chug 'til she talks 2.
October 2, 2008 at 12:00 am

Is to just listen to me. I mean, I know I'm only a mouth, but I have some serious life experience. We've vomited together, we've whistled many a tune and remember that time we ate all those Tostitos?
September 25, 2008 at 12:00 am

Breaking News 17-year-old Canadian Student Bludgeoned to Death Over Registration Mishap PHILADELPHIA (AP) - The body of freshman engineering student Jean-Claude DuPont was found in the UPS trailer by the historic Quadrangle this morning.
September 18, 2008 at 12:00 am

As if I don't already have enough agoraphobia-inducing triggers, I now have to worry about the daylight's effect on my self-confidence.
September 18, 2008 at 12:00 am

A tradition here at 34th Street that reminds you to keep your Facebook profile private. Just hope that this is the last time you find yourself in the back of the magazine.
September 12, 2008 at 1:51 am

what you need... BIRTHRIGHT ISRAEL ...is to just give me a chance. I know I'm not Jewish, and I'm okay with that.
September 11, 2008 at 12:00 am

For 30 minutes you have been waiting in your 4th floor Harnwell room. You sit there, stupidly, unaware of the harrowing crisis taking place right outside your room.
April 24, 2008 at 12:00 am

To the Smokes bouncer in Castle: You're lucky you work in the dark because otherwise everyone would see the glare from your bald spot. To my a cappella group: Please stop getting drunk and making out with each other.
April 17, 2008 at 12:00 am

To UTV: Your ugly set and deafening sound make our eyes and ears bleed simultaneously. Please stop punishing us all for the failures of Penn athletics.
April 17, 2008 at 12:00 am

When we published an ad for this, we weren't sure what kind of responses we were going to get, if any.
April 10, 2008 at 12:00 am

Worst Place to End it All: Trader Joe's So, you've finally had enough of this cruel world. Life is nothing but painful and meaningless, and your dark thoughts are getting the better of you.
April 3, 2008 at 12:00 am

Next to the system that ensures that more than half of all Wharton students successfully cheat on all their assignments, the Van Pelt stealing system is the biggest, most complex system that violates school policy.
March 27, 2008 at 12:00 am

The birthplace of history. The wet nurse of Western culture. While we'll never know for sure, it's safe to say that early religious leaders probably meant the Balkans when they talked about the "promised land." Who doesn't harbor some instinctual urge to travel to the Balkans - to swim upstream, to stand where our ancestors stood, to roll in the grasses that they once rolled in?
March 20, 2008 at 12:00 am

Too often advertisements lie to us. We lose our sense of reality when we see people overjoyed by some new product, for in reality they are actors.
February 28, 2008 at 12:00 am

Abstract: What if during those moments late on Friday night, after the 40s, after the blunts, after the tequila shots - at the moments when you enter into the "blackout stage"- two completely sober men with clipboards showed up and asked you to perform a number of tasks while they observed and took down notes.
February 21, 2008 at 12:00 am

From our resident poet. Read these and get into the mood. Our relationship reminds me of a water slide.
February 14, 2008 at 12:00 am

1. When you suddenly get the urge to go hang out at Woody's. 2. When you flirt with your girlfriend and you make fun of her as a joke, because you really don't care about her feelings. 3.
February 14, 2008 at 12:00 am

The following conversations actually occurred between the Low Brow staff and creepy dudes in sex chatrooms online, at 3:30 in the afternoon.
February 14, 2008 at 12:00 am

People often take their dogs to dog parks so that they can get their pets to interact with others. In the month of February, our very own student council does the same thing.
February 7, 2008 at 12:00 am