Lowbrow

Confidence Confidential by Dr. Lane Golic claims to hold all the secrets necessary to evolve from a wallflower to a life-of-the-party-flower.
January 28, 2010 at 12:49 am

When you host a pre-gaming function, your guests will expect the chance to play one to three games of Beer Pong, depending upon team performance and number of party attendees.
January 21, 2010 at 4:34 am

I started off rushing for the free food and alcohol, but after a night of brotherly bonding at Atlantis Gentleman’s Club, I realized that fraternity life has a lot to offer.
January 21, 2010 at 4:32 am

My roommate has been using the same towel all year and has never washed it. She says it’s okay because if she only uses it to dry her body once it’s clean, but still, right? —Mopey About Mold If your story were a movie I was adapting, the main conflict would be between you and your roommate.
January 21, 2010 at 4:29 am

Lately, the Penn Video Network has been playing the 2006 teen comedy, John Tucker Must Die. For obvious reasons, I’m not thrilled about it.
January 21, 2010 at 4:08 am

Hey guys! All That's Ashley here (that's me!) to answer this week’s tweens pressing issues.
December 9, 2009 at 11:59 pm

To the girl who kept insisting “she never does this” as she went down on me: You didn't have to keep stopping and telling me.
November 18, 2009 at 9:48 pm

People value our opinion here at The Street, (we added a 'the' for legitimacy/increased street cred… get it?
November 4, 2009 at 10:34 pm

Samhain is the new Farrah Fawcet Overshadowed by its creepy counterpart, but just as deserving of an E!
October 28, 2009 at 10:05 pm

Samhain sa?mh'in [Ed. note: Yes, that's right. It's pronounced Sah-ween.] n. A modern festival in various currents of Neopaganism that is based on, or inspired by, Gaelic traditions.
October 28, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Traditionally consumed as a means of divination, the Samhain cocktail is a melting pot of the holiday’s centuries-old rituals.
October 28, 2009 at 9:55 pm

Guide To: A Joyous Samhain Bonfire The last year has been rough: Mischa Barton never made her comeback (we’ll love you always and forever Coop), handjobs are slutty again and your fixie’s spokes are all busted.
October 28, 2009 at 9:51 pm

In a forgotten time, in a land far away, Carmilla — the fair maiden of this tale — lived in a schloss.
September 23, 2009 at 11:47 pm

A Summer of Experience A Semi-autobiographical Account of My Life By Rachel Stern-Stein After months spent cruising through the coiling canals of corporate America — spreadsheets, progress reports, photocopies, filing cabinets and arch nemeses named Chastity — Rachel had seemingly successfully reached her ultimate destination: the oh-so-crucial final PowerPoint presentation and Intern Evals.
August 5, 2009 at 10:22 pm

Although busy with her demanding 60-hour workweek, Rachel S-S manages to find time to bring you all the drama. Tuesday morning 11:00 AM: Sitting in her cubicle like an essentially worthless worker bee confined to its honey-comb, forced to perform its widget-like duties all for the benefit of the Queen, Rachel monotonously enters data into her Excel spreadsheet.
July 8, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Rachel Stern-Stein is the typical Penn student, living the life and spending the summer interning at a top-notch investment bank.
June 10, 2009 at 9:28 pm

To the avant-garde transfer: So, you’re bipolar. Too bad both of your personalities suck. To my roommate who never showers: I spray you with Febreze while you’re asleep. To all of you who start your sentences with, “I’m not gonna lie”: You guys should get together with those kids who start their questions with “I have a question…” Then you could go around stating obvious truths until you were comfortable with your intellectual abilities. To the drunk baseball player: Asking me if I know “Candace” and then saying “Candace dick fit in your mouth?” was not the best way to get me into bed. To Penn Fashion Week: Man leggings?
April 23, 2009 at 1:55 am

The average unaffiliated freshperson, basically insecure due to some long frustration, will react with psychosomatic symptoms to this most treacherous of afflictions: PENNital Herpes.
April 15, 2009 at 11:26 pm

After a good run as Angel Grove’s top martial arts fighting squad, they hung up their Zords in favor of “normal” teenage lives.
April 8, 2009 at 10:37 pm

Acronym for a (CHILDREN'S) Hospital: CHOP Exploitation of the Penn Name: Pennacle What are you?
April 1, 2009 at 10:41 pm