Lowbrow

It's that time of the semester again. The time when we take your meanest, crudest, cringe-worthiest thoughts and put them in print for the whole world to read.
April 22, 2010 at 2:54 pm

by Your Stoned Roommate Yesterday when you asked me what time it was, it just so happened to be 4:20.
April 14, 2010 at 11:59 pm

During the cab ride back from the new Roger Theroneux restaurant, Zwopflop (don’t miss the pan seared celery stalks with wheat grass reduction; skip the truffled California duck heart), my friends and I returned to a well-worn subject of debate — what flavors currently excite our refined, sophisticated palates? Geraldine turned from her place in the passenger seat to describe to us in vivid detail the savory, meaty taste known as umami.
April 14, 2010 at 11:56 pm

Worst Food Truck That beat up white AstroVan, you know? With the shirtless guy who slows down and rolls down his window just enough to hand you a whole wheat pita full of Smarties.
April 1, 2010 at 2:41 am

by Mrs Victoria Erwing The conversation usually starts when someone sees the ring. “Are you really both a full-time student and a full-time wife?” they ask.
March 25, 2010 at 3:53 am

Week in and week out, you readers send us the most gut-busting captions. But this week you should just bust out your favorite magnifying glass so you can send us a caption for this exclusive Friends-tastic photo!
March 25, 2010 at 3:52 am

By The Roommate Who Will Not Always Be There For You Every Tuesday, when you have your friends over to watch Lost, I do as I’m told and sit quietly in my room.
March 25, 2010 at 3:48 am

Christina Corletta Freshman, CAS 2.5 Stars Since her release in August of 1991, Christina Corletta has demonstrated curiosity, a love of horses and, as her mom pointed out many times between 2005 and 2008, a crippling “boy-craziness.” There were always a handful of Christina superfans, including Pop-Pop Corletta and Aunt Helen, but mainstream audiences missed many of the successes of her early years.
March 18, 2010 at 3:07 am

Dear ladies, I hope you had a lovely Spring Break. R&B go-getter Bobby V. approves of this yearly pilgrimage to the sexiest, sweatiest party locales south of the border.
March 18, 2010 at 3:03 am

Oh my god, that was so crazy. No, seriously, when you do that with your nose you look exactly like a ferret.
February 25, 2010 at 1:37 am

Every week we showcase a photo that didn’t quite make it into the magazine and give YOU the chance to impress your most easily impressed friends.
February 18, 2010 at 1:22 am

In a surprise to all at Pottruck last night, Engineering freshman Tom Lunario expressed emotion on the basketball court in a manner unseen on campus since the December firing of Men’s Basketball coach Glen Miller. Lunario, who became captain of the co-ed Stouffer team after collecting nine signatures from interested hallmates before winter break, made sure his team wore the red pinnies against Hill Team B. Recalls Lunario: “I yelled at the ref as soon as I got there for the red ones.
February 18, 2010 at 1:20 am

Jean Nichols (C’05) Tour Guide At The Ronald Reagan Library As someone who graduated recently, what advice can you give to someone looking for a job in the midst of today’s turbulent economy?
February 18, 2010 at 1:18 am

When I returned from my semester abroad to see that Housing Services had placed me with a dog as my roommate, you could imagine how excited I was to go on a series of wacky adventures with my new canine friend.
February 18, 2010 at 1:16 am

As in the hours before many such tragedies, everything about Wednesday night seemed utterly ordinary.
February 10, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Hey guys, just to let you know, I ordered some pizzas and they’ll be in the lounge at 7 tonight. I also picked up a 2-liter bottle of Sierra Mist and a six-pack of Super Chill brand cream soda.
February 10, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Girl, did you know that I created my stage name when I learned that I was due to be born on Valentine’s Day?
February 10, 2010 at 7:39 pm

This week' alum: Petey "Buttons" Mickelson (W' 25), Penn Football Player 1921 - 1925 Both teams have strong passing games.
February 4, 2010 at 4:02 am

Happy Restaurant Week, student! What a lovely treat it shall be to share a delicious meal with yummy friends.
January 28, 2010 at 1:44 am

According to a report from the University Registrar this Wednesday, College junior Clyde Clintock dropped Introduction to Psychology after attending only one of the Tuesday/Thursday lectures.
January 28, 2010 at 1:42 am