Humor
Lowbrow
Overheard at Penn: Lowbrow Edition
As children raised by Wiccan parents who celebrated Samhain in lieu of Halloween for the first 18 October 31sts of our lives, we at Lowbrow want to make up for lost time and salvage any remnants of a proper childhood while we still can.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Lowbrow Edition
As children raised by Wiccan parents who celebrated Samhain in lieu of Halloween for the first 18 October 31sts of our lives, we at Lowbrow want to make up for lost time and salvage any remnants of a proper childhood while we still can.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
True Life: Lowbrow Edition
As children raised by Wiccan parents who celebrated Samhain in lieu of Halloween for the first 18 October 31sts of our lives, we at Lowbrow want to make up for lost time and salvage any remnants of a proper childhood while we still can.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Toasts and Roasts: Lowbrow Edition
As children raised by Wiccan parents who celebrated Samhain in lieu of Halloween for the first 18 October 31sts of our lives, we at Lowbrow want to make up for lost time and salvage any remnants of a proper childhood while we still can.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Study Buddies
We've all heard the story about the Penn alum couple who met freshman year and are now happily married (yeah, we’re talking about you Mr. and Mrs. Elizabeth Banks). But with our days split between studying hard and procrastinating harder, we have little time to create a substantive love connection.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Street Cred
In an age when 500 friends is far too few and updating your status is as essential as brushing your teeth, it’s important to stay on top of what’s cool and what’s not. Here’s a point system to help you check yourself before you wreck yourself.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Lowbrow Top Ten:
Penn’s a big place, and while you may think that you’ve already mastered its ins–and–outs, found all the spots for free printing and know just how to avoid awkward hookups on Locust, here’s a list that’s sure to burst your bubble. Lowbrow presents the top 10 things you’ll graduate still not knowing.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Lowbrow's Top Ten Ways to Decipher between Fall and OCR
10. The Bookstore is sold out of leather portfolio polish.
9. You calculated the opportunity cost of going to the bathroom.
8.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
From the Desk of Amy Gutmann
We saw the recent WikiLeaks scandal as an amazing opportunity to finally be taken seriously. If we could somehow unearth and publish all the shocking secrets at Penn, we would no longer be the running joke at SAC cocktail parties.
Garbed in black spandex cat suits “borrowed” from American Apparel, we infiltrated La Casa de Gutmann to see what kind of skeletons we could uncover.
This snapshot of Amy’s desk was taken just seconds before we heard footsteps rounding the corner.
We fled before a man passed the room, clad in an ill–fitting plush robe and fuzzy pink slippers.
by 34TH STREET
Overheard at Penn 10/13
SDT girl: Wait, guys, how do you spell sorority? Because when I text it, my phone says “porn pity.”
Frat guy: Dude, tonight I’m gonna play spin the bottle in my head and wing man for you in whatever direction it lands.
Girl walking in the rain: Ugh, walking and holding an umbrella at the same time is such a struggfest.
Tabard chick 1: What are you doing tonight?
Tabard chick 2: Who are you doing tonight?
More from Highbrow:
True Life: I Hate My Roommate
Word on the Street: My European F.O.M.O.
Toasts & Roasts
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Rant of the Week: Bandwidth Hogs
Dear Bandwidth Hogs,
All you weepy–eyed girls streaming Dirty Dancing for the 12th time this week; all you hopelessly virgin boys trying to get lucky on Chat Roulette.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Ben Franklin's Sayings, Lost In Translation
While Benjamin Franklin is famous for his clever musings and witty sayings, historians today are beginning to wonder if some of his original messages were muddled when translated from ye olde English to Amurrican.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Ben Franklin Sex Diary: I Hope They Serve Ale In Hell
Also available as a book on tape
by 34TH STREET
Overheards: 09.29.2011
Professor: Homosociality, or a fascination with same–sex friends, is very common in Japanese culture.
Brotastic dude: Soo, is it kinda like having some dude be your wingman?
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
18th Century Rants
A Letter From A Governess Scorned
Dearest Benjamin,
After tending to the fruits of your loin for five years (and your loin for three), you have quite a bit of nerve to tell me to “go key my own kite.” As this marks the end of our lustful bliss, I have something I would like to get off of my rather busty chest.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Mad Libs: Sex in the 18th Century
Benjamin Franklin was America’s original Lothario. His sexual escapades were so numerous, that the coital details are practically interchangeable. Try your hand at our Mad Lib to see what sticky situations Big Ben got himself into.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Lowbrow Quiz: Damned if you do, Damned if you don't
It's Judgment Day here at Penn and nobody is safe from condemnation. But before you step on those moral scales, we at Lowbrow have made a quiz to give you a better idea of how hard you will be judged.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
A Freshman Girl's Rant about Fucking* Frat Boys... And a PSA From Frat Boys
Frat Bros,
I appreciate being invited to all your parties.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Sorry I'm Not Sorry: How to get even with your "friends"
Friendships are fickle. Especially at Penn, where besties sabotage each other just to get ahead of the curve and roomies hook up with the same guy behind each other’s backs.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Freshman Superlatives 2011
Dear Froshies of 2015, we’ve been keeping an eye on you since you arrived at Penn. And we hate to say it, but we’re not impressed.
by 34TH STREET
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