Humor
Lowbrow
E! True Hollywood Stories: Penn Personalities
Back in the day, Hemo actually started his career off as a Swedish supermodel.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Trading Places
With rush in our midst, both bros and gals are wondering what it would be like to swap in their Tory Burch flats for Nike kicks or vice versa.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Frat Faux Pas & Sorority Slip-Ups
Rush requires a lot of social prowess; finding out where someone is from or what classes they are taking is no easy feat.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Rosetta for Rushin'
Since you’ve been young, the rule of thumb has always been to say what you mean and mean what you say.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
If You Were a Housewife, Which City Would You Be From?
This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Housewife Quotes: Real or Fake?
*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.
The Housewives are prolific speakers.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
If You Were a Housewife, Which City Would You Be From?
Keep track of your answers to these questions to find out!
by 34TH STREET
Overheard at Penn: 12.08.2011
*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.
Atlanta
Nene: I'm a size ten.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
SHOUTOUTS. Fall 2011
To the girl who pretended to be transgendered for an entire semester to fit in with the gay community: We all know.
To the food ladies at Commons: It’s finally December.
by 34TH STREET
PDF: 12.01.2011
Click on the issue for the PDF.
See all of the articles in the issue here.
by JESSICA GOODMAN
Lowbrow
What You Should Be Thankful For, According to Lowbrow
This Thanksgiving dinner, Lowbrow will be thinking about many things during Grace: midnight strolls through the BioPond, Swedish Fish, pterodactyl porn, world peace, and people who send us raunchy Shoutouts from their school emails (hey, Julian). But if you were wondering what others on campus are thankful for, look no further.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
A Shoutout Tutorial (illustrations included)
(Illustrations by Faryn Pearl)
There are two types of people at Penn: Those who read Shoutouts and those who can’t read.
Shoutouts are a universal holiday commemorating the 99% literacy rate in America.
Imagine, if you will, a Thanksgiving that offends everyone equally; a Christmas unexploited by Hallmark; a Hannukah that includes that other 10% of campus; a Kwanzaa understood by all; and a New Year’s that happens twice a year.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Lowbrow's Rant (and Rebuttal) of The Week
Dear Roommate*,
You don’t do laundry.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Lowbrow Top Ten: Thanksgiving Pick-Up Lines
In (dis)honor of Thanksgiving, Lowbrow’s provided a cornucopia of ways to smooth–talk your Pocahontas or John Smith.
by 34TH STREET
Overheards 11/17
Blonde 1: Honestly, fuck TFA!
Blonde 2: Yeah! You can always apply for Teach for Chile with me.
Blonde 1: Yeah!!!!! Oh… you were serious?
Desperate on Locust: I don’t know.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Lowbrow gives you tips on how to avoid a hairy mess.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Where at Penn is Carmen Sandiego?
Hot diggity, detectives! The infamous Carmen Sandiego is at it again, and this time she’s taken off with the Quaker.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Rant of the Week: Visiting Friends
Dear Melanie*,
I get it. The social life at MIT isn’t exactly the rager you expected when you applied, but it’s not like I’m at an actual party school myself.
by 34TH STREET
Lowbrow
Lowbrow Top Ten: Things to do as an Alum at Homecoming
Homecoming's near and the oldies are back in town.
by 34TH STREET
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