Professor: …Just like some people who are obsessed with Twilight, with the story of Edward and Belle.
Female Student: IT’S BELLA!!!!
Sorority sophomore right before a FNCE 100 midterm: I always write inspirational quotes on the sides of my cheat sheets, like 'Don’t forget, you ARE beautiful!'
Guy on cell phone on Locust: What, so we’re not gonna have sex anymore?
Attendees at a weekend party during which a group of new Wharton TAs were initiated got a lot more than they bargained for whencops cracked down on the out of control proceedings.
There it was, glaring and permanent, an 'F' on my transcript. Seeing it for the first time shouldn’t have been a shock, given my obviously less than stellar performance in the class, but it still stung.
The concept of failing a class was entirely foreign to me before coming to Penn.
You’re in the final moments of your last Friday class, waiting for the minute hand to hit 50 so you can begin/continue drinking for the day and your weekend can officially begin.
Boy: What’s Tabard?
Girl: I don't know, a bunch of British girls who dress like they don’t shower.
Girl #1: I wish I were an athlete.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because then I wouldn’t be judged for dressing like I don’t give a shit.
Penn Masala member on Locust: And I was like, you know who’s gonna win?
Theos boy after haircut: Don’t I look like a Kennedy?
Beta pledge en route to the Vagina Monologues: Do they show you what a vagina looks like?
SDT Girl #1: I’m still coming up with the answer to this — which do you love more, Israel or cock?
SDT Girl #2: I’m still coming up with THIS answer — would you give up getting eaten out, or cheese?
Theta in Marks Cafe line: Bagels make you super fat, right?
Guy in Houston: In other news, not Pokemon related, I just got a PlayStation 2 to work on my computer.