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The Roundup: 2.2.2012

It feels like spring, doesn't it? It's hot as hell outside, the Tabard babies have swapped their normal wardrobes for a lovely shade of green and random pseudo–hippies who probably should have gone to Brown are playing frisbee golf on College Green.

by 34TH STREET

Tweets Illustrated

Do you tweet with abandon? On the toilet? Drunk? Think no one notices? Think again. Highbrow’s listening, nominating you for Tweet of the Week and, starting now, immortalizing the winners on the pages of Street.

by 34TH STREET

Vote For Your Tweet of the Week: 1/31-2/7

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by 34TH STREET

Vote for Your Tweet of the Week: 1/26

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The Roundup: 1.26.2012

Highbrow just got into the frat of its dreams! But now we're getting our faces hazed off. :( But at least we're not alone… Theos wasted no time in taking their new kids down a peg.

by 34TH STREET

True Life: Fake It Till You Make It

As a 21–year old senior woman, I have had a decent amount of sexual experience. I have dealt with virgins, sexual aficionados, Lotharios, rough lovers and quick comers.

by 34TH STREET

Word on the Street: Guilty Pleasures

I’m always the most awkward around new people. I feel the need to point out every personal flaw I have, which usually reverts back to my horrible taste in just about everything.

by ZACCHIAUS MCKEE

Overheard at Penn: 1.26.2012

Nursing student: You don’t even know the ass that I wiped today! Girl at Commons: I don’t know why everybody keeps saying that.

by 34TH STREET

Dispatch: Megabus-ing Back to Penn

7:00 a.m.: Wake up still drunk. Why did I book a 9 a.m. Megabus again? 7:06 a.m.: Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal. 7:11 a.m.: Stuff any clean clothes I can get my hands on into a duffle bag.

by 34TH STREET

The Round Up 1.19.2012

Welcome back to Penn, dear friends. To those abroad last semester, welcome back to America.

by 34TH STREET

Approval Matrix

Think you went somewhere cool for break? We’ll be the judge of that. Check out our approval matrix to see how your vacation measures up.

by 34TH STREET

Overheards: 1.19.2012

Theos upperclassman: So, I ask every rush here if they want a bid. They say yes. I say fuck you. Girl in Houston: It’s always good to keep a few spoons in your purse.

by 34TH STREET

Post-Break Depression

I’m only a freshman, but newborn and noobish as I may be, I like to think I’ve figured some things out about this place.

by PATRICK FORD-MATZ

Tweet of the Week: 1/18-1/25

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The Round–Up: 12.08.2011

*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. Hello, darlings!

by 34TH STREET

Overheard at Penn: 12.08.2011

*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. Atlanta Nene: I'm a size ten.

by 34TH STREET

Dispatches: Michaele Salahi Crashes the White House

*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. 5:35 p.m.: Hit the salon to get ready.

by 34TH STREET

Word on the Street: My Hubby, My Fave Accessory

*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. As any true housewife knows, husbands are an essential part of maintaining the super fab, luxurious lifestyle that goes along with the title of being a real housewife.

by 34TH STREET

Vote for what? Tweet of the Week

[poll id="21"] And congrats to last week's winner— @jacobschulman: Every time I have to make a PPT, I die a little bit on the inside.

by 34TH STREET

Overheard at Penn

Alpha Phi–ver girl flyering: Can we all just please pretend we’re having fun? Sweetgreen employee: We ain’t got no more lettuce. Girl in line: I’m literally going to die. Beijing fortune cookie: You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Owls douche: WOW THAT IS SO IRONIC. Guy flyering: Eric!

by 34TH STREET

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