Did You Know These Songs Were About Sex?

At some point, it hits you—the song your parents loved from the '80s and forced you to listen to is actually steeped in sexual imagery. Mom and Dad just knew you wouldn’t get it. Don’t feel betrayed or stupid. Laugh it off. We’ll help you start the healthy process by offering our five largest misinterpretations.

Photo: Mandyme27 / Pixabay

“Like a Prayer” — Madonna (1989)

The music video starts innocently enough. Madonna stumbles into a white church and stands before a figurine of Jesus while her voice croons about the mystery of life. And then the chorus hits. “I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power. Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there.” Back when you were six, this may have seemed like an elaborate way to describe prayer at Sunday school. But with a little sex ed, we know Madonna is likening the holy act to giving a blow job. This didn’t go unnoticed; the Pope at the time encouraged fans to boycott her Italian performances. If anyone was going to make the Vatican and the world gawk, it was going to be Madonna.

“Lose My Breath” — Destiny’s Child (2004)

Back when I listened to this song on the Top 40 radio in the car on the way to elementary school, I imagined Beyonce walking down a hallway with her trailing beau not able to walk fast enough and keep up. My mom would grimace with disapproval at each breathy pant, and I was like, “What, Beyonce is just tired of walking so fast!” Even when I watched the music video, which features a dance–off in an alley (classic 2000s), I thought all the heavy breathing was from exercise. When the song randomly popped up on my Spotify several years later, I realized they were singing about a different type of physical exertion. A lyric check confirmed: “Oh, I put it right there, made it easy for you to get to. Now you wanna act like ya don't know what to do. After I done everything that you asked me.” Whether you thought it was about keeping up on the streets or in the sheets, you've gotta love Destiny’s Child for voicing female dissatisfaction. 

“Father Figure”— George Michael (1988)

After the 80s/90s pop star’s death over winter break, I dug out my mom’s CD of Faith and pressed play. I landed on “Father Figure,” a song I recalled from road trips being about a loving father–daughter relationship. With a better listen and a few seconds of the original music video, the parental love was all but shattered. “I will be your father figure. (Oh baby). Put your tiny hand in mine. (I'd love to). I will be your preacher teacher. (Be your daddy). Anything you have in mind. (It would make me). I will be your father figure. (Very happy).” This is not to say the song comes off as perverse. As a gay pop star, George Michael had a talent of appealing to both straight and homosexual fantasies. This tender, soulful tune whips up one where your lover leads the way and makes sure you don’t fall behind. It takes two to tango and only one to lead.

“Dancing in the Dark”— Bruce Springsteen (1984)

I grew up listening to this song thinking that Bruce Springsteen was truly writing a book. (Maybe he was? His autobiography released this past September.) At the most, I thought he was stuck in a rut and striving to change his life. I mean, he says, “I want to change my clothes, my hair, my face.” But then, he hits you with, “This gun's for hire. Even if we're just dancing in the dark.” Paired with his hip thrusts in the music video, you’ll know immediately what type of action he's looking for. Want to be further mind–blown? Watch the video to the end for proof that at one point, Courteney Cox wore a pixie and muscle shirts. What were the 80s?

“Start Me Up”— The Rolling Stones, (1965)

The Rolling Stones were pissed that Donald Trump used “Start Me Up” during his campaign, as they never gave permission for the track to be used. What's more concerning is that Trump may have been taken the “turning on a car” metaphor literally or completely disregarded the song’s sexual overtones when making a political statement. Even as child, I guessed this tune had something to do with love, but what does love mean when you're six years old? Jagger sings that he will take me to places I have never seen…on a road trip? All I know is that cars typically don’t make a grown man cry.