Surprise! It’s you. Yes, you. Congratulations on making it; we know these past four years haven’t been easy, but now here you are, having achieved so much along the way.
Now you may ask yourself, “What am I doing here? There are no Fs or Ws to be seen anywhere on my transcript!” But you’ve all failed at some point, not necessarily in a class—that isn’t the Penn M.O. per se—and you all will again, guaranteed. And we failed too, see: We literally failed at finding a tenth person for this issue. These seniors know that achieving a goal isn’t the end–all–be–all, and chances are you know that by now, too. After all, you’re here, and we’re sure you’ll feel right at home.