Dear Miss Appropriation,
Pledging is ruining my relationship. My bf and I had a classic freshman year romance—we met early, and fell fast. We were solid when we came back from winter break this semester, and we knew pledging would be hard—on him.
But I didn't anticipate how hard it would be for me. I hate to sound selfish, because I'm not the one getting called to line–ups in the middle of the night to be yelled at and forced to ingest all sorts of shit. But still, I'm becoming increasingly frustrated by the fact that I barely see him, and when I do, he's usually drunk, sad, distracted or most importantly, too tired to fuck.
I know it'll end soon (if you count Fling as "soon"), but I don't know how much more of this I can take. How do we salvage our relationship—and most importantly our sex life—while he continues to try to be a "good pledge"?
Sincerely,
HornySinceRush
Dear HornySinceRush,
The fact that there is a freshman boy out there at Penn willing to be in a committed, loving relationship freshman year—whilst pledging—probably comes as a shock to many readers. But hey, when you find your person, you find your person (roll your eyes all you want, cynics, I know you're just jealous).
Mushiness aside, I’m really glad you asked this question, because the truth is, it isn’t easy. But dating in college is never easy, and this hurdle is something you can get past with a little bit of effort and these simple tricks. I promise.
1. Sleepovers
Sometimes the only time you can see your guy is at 2a.m., and that’s okay. Try to have a sleepover a few times a week to maximize this time. Granted, being woken up at 4:30a.m. because he has a line up is not fun. BUT, the three hours of sex, cuddles and Netflix you get before that will undoubtedly be worth it. And it also gives you the chance to see each other in the morning, so you can start your day rockin’ and rollin’, if you catch my drift.
2. Afternoon Delights
On the really rough days, when you can’t even see your boyf at 2a.m. and the only time you have free all day long is between your 3 and 4p.m. classes, you gotta make the most of those quick(ie) 50 minutes. But don’t despair! Cosmo recently wrote an article saying that our hormones are actually most primed for sex around 3p.m., so do with that what you will (don't know if you've noticed, but I am clearly an advocate for sex all day, every day).
3. Dinner Dates
I know I sound like I’m 40, but I swear, this is really good advice. My limited knowledge of pledging lets me know that the pledges are not busy at dinner time every night of the week. Picking one day a week and committing to sharing a meal together can be a really great thing. Whether it’s Bejiing or a nice restaurant downtown, 90 minutes of just you guys together will be so worth it.
4. Homework Helpers
As unromantic as it sounds, the one thing a big bad pledge–master can’t argue with is work. We are at an Ivy League school, and I am sure you both do have a lot of it. So why not do it together? Get a GSR in Huntsman, bang out your statistics problem set, and maybe you can even bang each other! (That’s a personal goal of mine, if you’re not into sex in cool places, you just keeping do you).
Hope this helps you and your guy, and I wish you both the best of luck. Freshman year relationships are special! Don’t let pledging ruin yours.
Love,
Miss Appropriation
