Rotini with Parmesan and Fried Eggs


Recipe adapted from a classic Northern Italian dish that my nonna used to make.

Global warming was dope while it lasted, but now winter is, like, a thing again. After a long day of walking around in the cold and saying, “Could you not?” every time the wind (dick)slapped you in the face, the last thing anyone wants to do is go out again to pick up dinner. 

Luckily, this savory pasta dish is ready in no time and will warm you up with cheesy goodness from the inside out. Instead of making yourself mac and “cheese” in the microwave (we all know that cheese isn’t even close to real), try this classier alternative. It might sound a little strange at first (pasta with eggs?), but just trust my Italian ancestors and get crackin’!


Ingredients (serves 2; $1.95/serving):


½ lb of rotini, or any pasta shape you have ($1.50/1lb box at Fresh Grocer)

4 eggs ($2.69/dozen at Fresh Grocer)

4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil ($8.49/bottle at Fresh Grocer or CVS)

Your body weight in grated Parmesan cheese (only half kidding; $2.99/8–oz jar at Fresh Grocer)

2 cloves of garlic (optional; $1.50/sleeve at Fresh Grocer)

Salt & pepper


Procedure:


  1. Boil water and cook pasta according to package directions.
  2. While the pasta is cooking, heat the oil in a large pan over medium heat. No need to measure exactly; use enough to coat the bottom of the pan.
  3. Peel the garlic cloves and smash them with the back of a knife (or your ex’s face if you didn’t get the chance last time). Add to the pan and cook 2–3 minutes until just browned. Press the garlic into the oil with the back of a spoon to release its flavor.
  4. Remove and discard the garlic, and add all the eggs to the pan.
  5. Cook the eggs sunny–side up style until the white is set and the yolks are still runny.
  6. Drain the pasta and toss with the eggs, breaking them up as you go. The heat of the pasta will finish cooking the eggs, and the runny yolk will ~emulsify~ with the oil to make a light sauce.
  7. Add cheese, a generous amount of black pepper, and a pinch of salt and toss everything together. Serve hot, with more cheese on top.

Tips and Tricks:


The garlic is optional, but it’s highly recommended and adds a nice depth of flavor. Add it if you have it, but don’t worry if you don’t. Feel free to toss in any veggies you have on hand as well. Also, you can use any blend of cheeses you want, so go ahead and experiment with your favorites. When you think you’ve added enough cheese, go ahead and add a little more. Outside, it might be freezin’, but inside, you’re cheesin’! (Ed. note: cheese jokes are allowed to be cheesy, sorry ‘bout it.)