We're all for tradition, but some times you just have to cut the nostalgia and leave the past behind. Not sure whether your go–to fashion statements from 2k15 should transfer into your new year, new you wardrobe? Here's a cheat sheet for which items you should ditch alongside that fuckboy you were "dating" last year.
Sneaker Wedges
This footwear trend was first spotted in 2012, and it reached its peak last year when a variety of brands came out with new color combinations and heights––the shoes even reached Rumor’s elevated surfaces last year. Why would you wear a shoe with all of the disadvantages of a sneaker and all of the problems of wearing heels? Not dressy enough to wear out, but too flashy to wear daily. They’re chunky, they’re lurid, and they just aren’t cute. Next time you make a petition on Change.org to save the underwater basket weaving business of an Amazonian tribe from the claws of trans–national deforesting corporations, make another one to get the White House to ban these (#thanksObama).
Pajama pants in public
College students straddle the fine line between comfort and sloppiness. Maybe you just needed to run to Wawa to get on that hazelnut–flavored coffee grind. Maybe you just want to be the next Hugh Hefner. Maybe you’ve been watching Making a Murderer for the past seventeen–and–a–half hours. Regardless, this trend just can’t be justified. Though fitted sweatpants are a must in your 2016 closet to keep up with the #comfychic and #athleisure trends, pajama pants should stay within the confines of your home. Seriously. (Ed. note: Theos can’t wear them anymore though, they've lost their joggers privileges)
The Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge
This sounds like a drinking game insecure freshmen play at a rush event to look cool before they end up getting wicked MERTed. Let’s set this straight: a full set of lips is gorgeous, but this is an absurd way to channel your inner Kylie. It works by loading a shot glass onto your lips and sucking, which induces negative pressure and makes your lips swell. If you suck hard enough, you can break the blood vessels and cause bruising––which makes you look like you’re pouting with a severe allergic reaction. It’s unsafe, and tbh, does it even look that attractive?
Rainbow Hair
Sorry to ruin your dreams of being a real life human unicorn (or a Pilam brother hanging out outside of Van Pelt), but we consider it to be our moral duty here at Street to inform you why this is just straight up bad. First of all, the trend is really bad for your mane; it makes individual strands brittle and fades out your natural color. Dyeing your hair will always damage it, but the vibrant colors in this fashion trend are particularly damaging to your hair because they take longer to process and more bleach. Also, do you really want your new hair color to be called sunset, macaron, chocolate chip or galaxy? Save it for your trip to Coachella.
Juicy Couture
If there was a support group for survivors of the early–2000s fashion trends, wearers of Juicy Couture would flock to its meetings. You should thus be scared to know that the brand has made a comeback, opening stores all over the country last spring. If you haven’t had nightmares of the rhinestone–bedazzled tracksuits with "Juicy" plastered across the ass, then this is us mentally preparing you for when you see girls on Locust Walk in pink velour. Run far away, friends. Far, far away.
