We have so many mixed feelings about homecoming. On the one hand, you get to see all your friends/bigs/exes for maybe the first time since May, and we get one last excuse to darty before St. Patty’s. But, on the other, you’ll soon realize that Recess is filled with washed up frat bros trying to relive their glory days and forget they sold their souls to finance, and that Smokes' is filled with even older, creepier men (possibly fathers) who won’t stop hitting on you (Ed. note: Free drinks are only worth so much). So, here’s a list of alternatives for when you need to drink but don’t want to see all the people you were happy to say bye to last May in the first place.
For something cheap: Fiume
A classic dive bar, Fiume is adored by all those who have heard of it. Small and out of the way, it features $3 beers, a friendly bartender and live music. So basically Kweder at Smokes', without Kweder and drunk sorority girls singing on stage…seems ideal.
Where: 229 South 45th Street
Hours: 6pm–2am
Who to bring: Your most fun drinking friend
For a small dose of Penn: Dolphin Tavern
We’ve all heard of it, be it because we have been or because we are constantly seeing friends clicking "going" to its events on Facebook. Regardless, Dolphin has slowly but surely been working its way into the Penn scene as something different to do in Center City (and by different we mean not Rumor). What better chance than now to try it out? This weekend is set to feature performances from Ichisan and Risky Disko (Thursday), The Black Madonna (Friday) and George Fitzgerald and Dave P. (Saturday).
Where: 1539 Broad Street
Hours: 8pm–2am
When to go: Friday, avoid that weird downtown happening further east
For something fancy: U–Bahn
New, swanky, small: U–Bahn will make you feel like you’re doing post–grad life better than the returning grads swarming Smokes'. Go on a Saturday for crowded night full of attractive young professionals, or on a Thursday for something more low–key (remember: people in the real world have work on Fridays).
Where: 1320 Chestnut Street
Hours: 4pm–2am
What to order: Ask the bartender for a recommended cocktail that is not on the menu
For good beer: Local 44 or Dock Street
Philly is very much a beer city, something that is easy to forget when you’re spending your weekends tossing back pitchers of Yuengling at Smokes'. Remind yourself why people actually drink beer by choice by attending one of these local bars this weekend. Located at 44th and Spruce streets and 50th and Baltimore streets, respectively, they’re close enough to walk to and far enough to forget about Penn. Even if you know nothing about beer, now is your chance to learn! Tip: order something local (try PBC) or something that’s on tap (because that’s just good bar etiquette).
Local 44
Where: 4333 Spruce Street
Hours: 11:30am–2am
What to order: Tired Hands Saison
Dock Street
Where: 701 South 50th Street
Hours: 12pm–1am
When to go: for a later dinner, circa 9pm
For something that feels ~exclusive~: Ranstead Room
Ranstead is a speakeasy through and through. Slightly hidden and nondescript, getting inside is a bit of a process (go wait in line and you’ll see what we mean). But once you’re in, you’ll find cozy booths, a sexy atmosphere and killer cocktails. Take note, this is not the place to go for just one drink, so make sure to stick around for a few (and maybe pregame a bit so you forget that you’re dropping ~$18 per drink).
Where: 2013 Ranstead Street
Hours: 6:30pm–2am
Who to bring: a date (or GBF)
