How do you spend your Thursdays?
A. Getting blackout at Recess/Rumor because I’m sceney.
B. Getting blackout at Smokes because I’m a SWUG.
C. People go out on Thursdays?
How do you walk down Locust?
A. With sunglasses so I #cantseethehaters.
B. With headphones because I hate everyone.
C. I don’t.
Where do you study?
A. VP basement with all my sorority sisters.
B. 2nd floor GSR in Hunts because I like to pretend I’m studying but I’m actually SABSing.
C. Rooftop Lounges because I’m into Oz boys.
Are you international?
A. Yes.
B. No.
C. I grew up in America and hold an American passport but I was born in France so I only hang out with Castle.
Coffee shop of preference?
A. Hubbub because I like people to see me pretend study.
B. United By Blue because I’m into hipsters.
C. Starbucks under Commons because I’m weird.
Have you ever Ubered to avoid a walk of shame?
A. No, I will walk my ass back to the Quad with pride.
B. Yes, I like to think my dignity is worth more than the $5 minimum charge.
C. Zete is far…
What do you use to carry your laptop?
A. Nothing because I’m a tool.
B. A purse because fashion is worth more than my shoulder pain.
C. Herschel that matches everyone else on campus.
Answers:
Mostly As: You got “Frat/Sorority House.” You’re probably a sophomore riding that wave of social relevancy that is second semester Freshman year. You love the Penn social scene and the Penn social scene loves you. You need a house that lets you be you — and who better to share the experience with than your new found sisters/pledge bros.
Mostly Bs: You got “Beige Block.” You’re probably a junior or a senior, which means you’re starting to embrace that SWUG/SWUB status. You don’t have the energy to put your ass into an Uber to Rumor every Thursday, but you still need the world to know that your sorority sisters are the best and your frat totally runs shit. Beige Block is the perfect representation of you: it used to be cool, but now it’s so washed up that it can’t last at a party for more than 30 minutes.
Mostly Cs: You got “High Rises.” You don’t subscribe to Penn culture like everyone else. You don’t get why people care so much about frats, and you probably don’t know what SABS means. The high rises are affordable and in a good location and you will never understand why more people don’t live in them.
Photo: Carson Kahoe
