Although we feel bittersweet about leaving behind Commons and its assortments of meats, pastries, critters and vermin, it’s time to say hello to a new meal plan, a new diet and a new life. Whether you’re staying healthy or just barely staying alive, you’ll want some advice on how to deal with food as an adult.

Eating Healthy (or the “Coconut water is a great alternative to soda”) Plan:

If you’re brave and willing, there’s the option of a healthy diet plan. The closest on-campus healthy dining options are HipCityVeg, Hai Street Kitchen or Sweetgreen for appetizing and nearby healthy food. For reputable food trucks, see Magic Carpet and the fruit truck at 36th and Spruce streets. Also, buy some lightly salted mixed nuts and dried fruit chips for snacking purposes. It’s important to always carry water around, though you should be doing that anyway because hydration is sexy (tip: the best water is found in Houston; gotta love that #filter).

 for Yourself (or the “Cooking for 6 weeks before giving up entirely”) Plan:

Familiarize yourself with Fresh Grocers and Trader Joe’s. Stock up on veggies that are both long-lasting and versatile. If you’re living in the High Rises, buy a dish–rack, some spices (salt, pepper, garlic, basil for starters), butter and cooking oil. Usually, beef and chicken can be used in a variety of ways, from salad medleys to just straight up grilling and sauteing. If you’re a vegetarian, tofu can be baked, broiled or braised. Make sure you’ve got enough different knives for the different cooking purposes, otherwise you’ll end up cutting your tomatoes with a steak knife instead of a serrated knife like a goddamn imbecile.

Taking 6 Classes (or the “Caffeine is 50% of my diet”) Plan:

So you’re a busy, ambitious, overactive and underfed college student. If you’re not into sitting back and smelling the roses, look into an “On The Go” meal plan. This consists of getting your own tumbler mug for $10 to $15, eating celery sticks and stocking up on Go-Gurt (the word “go” is literally in the name). Whether you’re rushing from Huntsman or Van Pelt, you’re bound to run into some food trucks on Spruce: MexiPhilly, Lyn’s, and a buttload of Halal food trucks are all in walking distance from campus.

Fine Dining (or the “Designated Food Photographer”) Plan:

So you’ve got some Instagram followers to appease. With the meal plan out of your way, you can finally go take aesthetic shots of brunch to show how you’re both carefree and creative. For brunch, head over to Sabrina’s, Local 44, Green Eggs Café. For sweets, look to Lil’ Pop Shop, Lil Baby’s and Yogorino. For a scenic Fall coffee shop experience, go to Honest Tom’s, Bodhi Coffee, Elixir Coffee Roasters or Reed’s Coffee and Tea House, as long as you stock up on enough Septa tokens for the ride.

My body is a urinal (or the “I belong with the sewer people”) Plan:

Start with the classics like Easy Mac and Cup Noodle Ramen. Then quickly devolve into gorging on the frozen peas you use as substitution for ice cubes (it’s like paying for undrinkable tap water damn it). To prevent your dorm from carrying the scent of day-old pizza and cheesy fries, offer up your kitchen for bake sale cooking so it can smell like cookies most of the time. If you want to be classy, mix Franzia with diet coke and bring it to class in a hydration pack, because wine in a backpack is fancy and convenient. Additionally, you’ll quickly learn that cornflakes and vodka can sustain a living human being for at least a day or two — but don’t push it.

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