We all blackout once in awhile, we all do things we don’t remember and definitely regret. If you’re College sophomore
Winter, those things happen to include waking up in bed with a platter of Wawa mashed potatoes, chicken fingers and mac and cheese resting on your chest. Breakfast in bed?
Ever raged so hard at Rumor that you really just needed….a pie? Us either, but Chris, an A’s sophomore, was overwhelmed with a craving for some baked apple goodness. After leaving the club, buying two pies and devouring one, the boy returned to the party. Unsure what to do with his leftovers, he threw them at the bouncer, who promptly proceeded to kick him out. Three cheers for alcoHALL, amiright?
The best part about living off campus? No meal plan. The worst part? Coming home starving to an empty kitchen, only a granola bar to your name, which means you probably have to cook your drunk food. As drunk logic would have it, College sophomore Malia concluded that she must make—and eat—as many grilled cheeses as would use up the olive oil in the pan. This all went swimmingly, that is until she woke up at 3 a.m. to puke out the 5 sandwiches she had consumed.
Chipotle twice in one day is never a problem….that is, unless it’s within a span of 10 minutes. Ella, a college sophomore, was feelin’ herself this weekend, and decided Chipotle was the perfect way to end her dartying experience. As she took the last bite of her first round, the memory of eating seemed to escape her, and she lined up again for seconds, claiming she was “in the mood for chipotle.” She then proceeded to also eat her friend’s chipotle as well. [Ed. note: Lets be real, we would probably do that sober.]
Some people just don’t walk in the light the first two weeks of freshman year. Jay, a college freshman, left his phone in an Uber after a wild night downtown. In an attempt to get his phone back, Jay asked a fellow frosh-ling if he could borrow her phone to call the Uber. She obliged, but when the phone call ended, the girl was no where to be found. Jay hitchhiked to 24th street, where the Uber driver was presumably waiting for him with his phone. When he got there, the Uber driver not only handed him his phone, but also a Sunkist and a straw. Jay arrived back on campus to a police squad and the phoneless girl claiming Jay had stolen her phone. On the bright side, at least Sunkist is still a thing.
Under normal circumstances, being told you have to gain 5 lbs in food weight would be a dream come true. In an attempt at brotherly bonding, some freshman youngins were told they had to do just that….except that their only means of gaining this weight was mayonnaise, dog biscuits, crisco, cat food and anything else atrociously unappetizing that you can think of. Good thing most of them probably don’t remember it happening. If you woke up regretting that Allegro’s slice of pizza at 2 am, relax, at least it wasn’t crisco.
People will do a lot of things for 20 bucks, especially if they’re a downtown-attending scenester looking for a way to pay that next Recess cover. Castle sophomore Grant drunkenly agreed to nom all the skin off of a pineapple for a little extra pocket change. I’m sure a lot about that situation didn’t feel good the next day. Being a socially relevant obviously comes with a price.
Marcus, a college sophomore, was once eating with all his friends after a night out. Suddenly, one of his friends threw up all over the table and everyone else’s food. Unsure what to do, the crew quickly stood up, most likely high-fived their sick friend, and exited—without paying.
