We hope a cute leprechaun sham–rocked your world this past weekend. Highbrow met a sexy ginger named Pat McCrotch who was after our lucky charms all day. We know you were green with envy, but that’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a little puff from your pot of gold. If you really have the luck of the Irish, you won’t end up in the Round Up.
As Ke$ha once said: this place about to BLOW. A group of freshman boys went to dinner at a certain gastropub near campus before they rolled out for a late night downtown. Highbrow hears that one eager boy whipped out a vial of coke at the table and showed his friends. The boys finished their meals and left the restaurant, but there was one teensy issue: about ten minutes after their departure, our cocky coke friend realized that he didn’t have his vial–o’–drugs. From what we hear, the coke is still at the restaurant—Highbrow’s forecast predicts snow for this spring for the kitchen staff.
Watch out for IVs, you little Ivy League leprechauns. After downing a fifth of vodka on Saturday morning, one freshman boy got MERT–ed at a backlot day party. When the boy woke up in the hospital, he had no memory of how he had gotten there and wanted to leave ASAP. While the nurse was gone, he pulled out all IVs and wires from his body, stuffed them in his socks and made a run for it. Later that night, the police found him back on campus, but let him off the hook. O’Shit!
We have an Uber embarrassing story for you. One international sceneior got a little wild at a bar on Friday night. Under the influence of some special substances, she went outside to wait for the transportation she had requested. In her confusion, she mistook a random West Philly civilian for her Uber driver. When the girl entered the back of the car and told the “driver” her destination, the woman flipped out and started to scream. The woman didn’t even have to lure her with candy! Looks like her chaffeur showed her.
Also, what the fuck is happening with AXO? Highbrow certainly hopes it's a HOAX...
The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.
