My lin is awesome.
They know me so well.
We’re the beSDT lin around, and everyone can tell!
They think I’m aDDDorable, so fresh and so PHIne.
I love my lin and I know they’re all mine
We love to hang and chat as a group.
But when it comes to gossip, Highbrow’s got the real scoop.
Sometimes it’s okay to double dip. Highbrow hears that one Quaker got extra lucky this weekend. After attending a party with some fraternity brothers, a student took a girl home. Sources tell us that the duo did the dirty, but our virile friend wasn’t quite ready to end the night. He decided to attend another party that same evening and a different girl caught his eye. The pair split off from the party to have some intimate time with each other. After some good ol’ penetration, the boy confessed he had already slept with a girl that night. Looks like Doublemint gum has it right: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
Booze, bitches and books—one of these is not like the others. A little birdy told Highbrow that a group of young ladies were getting rowdy in the basement of VP on Saturday night. The seemingly drunk girls were on a special scavenger hunt and were desperately searching for a football player. Tbh, they were likely causing a scene for no reason. Next time, Highbrow suggests you try Pottruck—Penn athletes are more the work–out hard, play hard type.
Another one bites the dust—looks like PanHELLenic has come down hard on yet another sorority. You know who you are. Snaps to Tridelt, SDT, ChiO, etc. for doing you in a safe and loving way. Highbrow wonders: Who will be the next good girls to go bad? We’re looking at you, Amy Gutmann.
At Penn, we go hard in the paint. After a paint party, one dirty boy hit up Smokes, where he found a philanthropic friend willing to clean him up. The duo went back to her house on Pine, where he proceeded to strip down and shower, leaving his belongings in the girl's room—who subsequently locked him out of her room and PTFO'ed. Our wet friend banged on her door, but finally gave up and migrated down the hall to another housemate's bed, who was also asleep. The drunk boy attempted to play some Chamillionaire music, but luckily no one saw him ridin' dirty. The freshly showered student finally realized that he would not be getting his belongings back that evening, so he ran two blocks to Pine Arms in nothing but a stolen towel—no clothes, no shoes, no phone, no memory. Hey, at least he was clean.
