Highbrow is here to make more of a fuss than that drunk Tap House kid. While you’re sharing dinner with your special someone in a dimly–lit Italian restaurant surrounded by other awkward couples, Highbrow will be relaxing in a bed full of puppies. Check yourself: Who’s really going to have a better Valentine’s Day? Love is truly in the air. And by love, we mean gossip. Watch your back, because Cupid’s not the only one targeting you this weekend.
Speaking of watching your back, remember to look both ways before crossing the street. This weekend, one freshman wandered into Center City after a few too many drinks. While strolling through downtown Philly, our Penn city slicker was involved in a minor vehicular accident. We are happy to report that there were no serious injuries, but the poor soul was left with some serious scratches. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Highbrow suggests you lawyer up, baby boo.
That shit cray—ain’t it Jay? One visitor was shocked to find a male stranger in her temporary bed during a weekend stay at Penn. Apparently another member of the house had a steamy hookup, and the guy was so intoxicated that he couldn’t find his way back to the correct bedroom. Instead, he decided to crash in what he believed to be an empty room. Not so much. The naked man was immediately woken up and questioned. Struggling to find his missing apparel, the nude fellow borrowed from the Quaker’s wardrobe and was sent home barefoot. Let's hope the cold doesn't bother him, anyway.
Some people say drinking impairs your judgment. Those people have probably been to Harvest Happy Hour. A group of inebriated students dined at Harvest this past weekend and one boy dared his friend to eat a laminated menu as a joke. He proceeded to chew and swallow the menu. We wonder how the plastic feels when it exits your body. Highbrow usually swallows, but in this case we say, SPIT!
