But if you're still hungry....
White Chocolate and Lemon Napoleon
Who are you kidding? Of course you’re also gonna get dessert. Try Vintage's white chocolate and lemon curd Napoleon. The chocolate will match your drink's decadence, while the acid from the lemon curd will keep you from getting bored with the chocolate-y sweetness.
How many? 294 calories
Get it when...
The date sucks and you'd rather have a threesome with your drink and dessert.
(Photo: Gildedfork.com)
But if you're still hungry....
Mexican Shrimp Ceviche
Even if your light tropical drink leaves you feeling almost healthy, you'll probably end up munching on more tortilla chips than marinated shrimp once the vodka hits. Indulge.
How many? 150 calories (not including chips)
Get it when...
You find yourself drinking fancy shit at an "Asian fusion lounge" and all you really want is a fucking taco.
(Photo: Stratus Rooftop Lounge)
But if you're still hungry...
Anything from Applebee’s
XIX’s kitchen closes early, but the Applebee’s across the street is open until 2am. Everything there tastes the same, so we won't recommend anything specific. Go with your (drunk) gut.
How many? Around a million calories. You're young; you'll be fine.
Get it when...
You want everyone to know a life without self–respect is actually pretty fucking fun.
(Photo: Twitter.com/applebees)
But if you're still hungry....
Huarache De Hongos
You might think nibbling on chips and guac is the best move to counteract the 675 liquid calories sliding down your throat. Wrong. When you're drunk you can’t pace the golden chips–to–guac ratio. We recommend Distrito's Huarache De Hongos instead. It’s tasty and somewhat satisfying. Plus, you’ll never sound cooler saying "mushroom flatbread."
How many? 290 calories
Get it when...
You (wrongfully) decide you're too classy for the nachos.
But if you're still hungry...
Wishbone Chicken
Zesto’s is too small and McDonald’s is too loud for your type of drunk. On the bright side, there’s no way you’ll fuck up more than the guy that shattered the chicken counter last week.
How many? Not too bad if you didn’t also get mac and chee…oh you did. In that case, a fuckton.
The food you get when...
You woke up that same morning surrounded by empty Wishbone containers and swore you'd never do it again.
