VAN PELT 4TH FLOOR — Ormandy Music and Media Center
(Level of Difficulty: Easy)
There’s a better way to stay up all night in the library.
1. Book a room online. Simply go online and pick a time and one of any five rooms equipped with everything you need to view your romantic movie. Perks include a 37” flat-panel widescreen monitor and VHS player for those throwback vibes.
2 . Go to the library. Arguably the most difficult step.
3. Hang a left and another left out of the elevator on the fourth floor. Head away from the books and towards the media.
4. Find your room. Library assistants will be there to help. Pro tip: They aren’t your college house RA, so BYO condoms.
5. Put it in. The DVD (or VHS tape), that is. At least, at first.
Recommended Viewing: Any romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant, though Music and Lyrics is apropos. You’re here for the room, not the movie.
Domus
(Level of Difficulty: Intermediate)
Get some (culture that is).
1. Find someone who lives in Domus. Remember that one girl in your sorority who hosts all those wine and cheese nights? Time to send her a "haiii girl" text. Or that mysterious European guy who smells like too much cologne? A flirtatious "whatcha up to?" Snapchat should suffice.
2. Have them rent the screening room. Just contact the front desk and reserve for any time before midnight. (Pro tip: Make friends with the front desk and they’ll let you stay past the time limit).
3. Enjoy your private movie theatre. Emphasis on private.
Recommended viewing: Blue Is The Warmest Color, Lust Caution, or anything equal parts subtitles and sex.
College Hall, 4th Floor
(Level of Difficulty: Professional)
Doing it Amy Gutmann–style.
1. Gain after–hours access to the building. This is the trickiest part, as the building won’t let you swipe in after a certain hour, but we’ve got a handy guide with options. You can always:
- Hide. Simply find your way into College Hall during daytime hours and stick out a few hours until the building closes. Bring your S.O.—nothing says romance like a little clandestine foreplay in one of the bathroom stalls.
- Find a Philo. College Hall is home to Penn’s one and only intellectual society, whose members have after–hours access to the building. Befriending one of these enigmas can grant you unlimited access to the building.
- Elevator in the middle of College Hall. Perfect for getting “stuck.” Great for couples who are looking to spice things up and don't mind cliches.
2. Find a screening room! We recommend going to the highest (fourth) floor. Those rooms tucked away to the right of the elevator are particularly cozy. Once you get off the elevator (and ahem, get off) find the bathrooms and make a left; you’ll find a wealth of rooms for your viewing pleasure.
3. Lock the door and snuggle up, if you're into that sort of thing.
Recommended viewing: Last Tango in Paris and blast the volume. If you happen to get caught, simply say you’re a Philo immersing yourself in the world of "art house cinema blend."
Pro tip: Bring some blankets and a few pillows to make the best use of the floor space without risk of rug–burn.
