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Street: Can you tell us something that we don’t know about VagMons?
Dawn Androphy: There’s a real community that we try to build. A lot of girls come to every single Sunday meeting, and they’re just as much part of our movement as a girl who has one of largest monologues in the show.
Street: Can you tell us something that we don’t know about vaginas?
DA: That's Alexis’ thing.
Alexis Richards: I love vaginas. I’m all about them. Did you know that there are like 2–4 times the amount of nerve endings in the clitoris than there are in the penis? How awesome is that? (Ed. note: We checked, the clitoris has at least 8,000 and the penis only 4,000. Awesome, indeed.)
Street: Speaking of, does your vagina have a name?
AR: She’s multi-faceted. So some days her name could be Agnes, but other days, she’s Consuela. She changes. Sometimes she’s hiding. Today, though, she’s happy.
Street: What’s your vagina’s name today?
AR: It’s Princess Conseula Bananahammock, only because, you know, Phoebe from Friends? Today, in particular, I’m feeling a little crazy.
Street: Fill in the blank, there are two kinds of people at Penn…
AR: Those who can get it and those who can’t.
DA: Those who wear the vagina suit and those who wish they could.
Street: Describe yourself in three words.
AR: Women’s Center naps.
DA: Opinionated, diligent, caring.
Street: If your house is on fire, what item of clothing would you save from your closet?
AR: Oh my god, that is an awfully hard question.
DA: The obvious answer is all of our Vagina Monologues sweatshirts!
AR: I’ll be honest, it’s probably my white fur coat. It’s really important to me. It was my first foray into absurd coat–dom. It’s this big scraggly white thing and it’s not real fur—it couldn’t be real fur. We call it the beast.
Street: What’s the weirdest thing anyone has ever said to you in bed?
AR: This wasn’t weird, but this person clearly watched too much porn because he was just like, 'Come for me, baby.' And I was like, 'Nothing about that is sexy.' I will come when I am good and ready.
Street: Is your muffin buttered?
DA: What?
AR: I actually had a buttered muffin for breakfast today! Does that count?
DA: There’s like two things about that question that I just don’t understand. The first is: What body part is the muffin supposed to represent? Because that doesn’t make sense. And then buttering doesn’t seem like a very sexy act.
Street: Tell us about your ideal Valentine’s Day.
AR: There’s actually a tattoo convention in Philly next weekend that I would die to go to. And then I would like to take myself on a date. I’m really great at dating myself—there’s always Italian food, wine and cake involved.
DA: I’m going to New York to visit one of my close friends who graduated. We’re going to spend the whole weekend together and be like a heteronormal couple for the night.
Street: Can you give us some sex advice?
AR: My sex advice would be to not take it too seriously. Funny things happen, bodies make noise, bodies excrete things—don’t sweat that stuff. Sweat. You should just sweat.
Street: If you could have a drink with anyone in history, who would it be and why?
AR: Gloria Steinem and Angela Davis, which, I think, is a really typical feminist answer.
DA: I would "taste a liquor never brewed" with Emily Dickinson. That’s one of my favorite poems by her.
Street: Can you tell us about your first kiss?
DA: Mine’s so funny. I was 13. I was at Jewish summer camp. We were around the campfire. The rabbi had just finished telling a story. Someone was playing “Wonderwall” on the acoustic guitar, and I kissed this real cute boy from cabin 14.
AR: I think I missed out because I didn’t go to summer camp. I’m not Jewish. I tried really hard to be Jewish one time, but that’s a different story.
Street: That’s the next story.
AR: So, after my sophomore year of high school, I went to a Krinsky camp—this is actually the betchiest thing ever—so everyone there was Jewish, and I felt very left out. This kid there named Evan, he was like, 'What are you doing here? You’re not Jewish.' And I was like, 'You don’t know, I could be Jewish.' And he was like, 'what?' So it became this whole thing where my friends said my name was Alexis Richards–Rosenberg. And I changed my Facebook name to Alexis Richard–Rosenberg.
DA: No! I didn’t know it went that far. And now you’re at Penn.
AR: And now I’m here.
Street: Reverse kill, fuck,-marry. You can’t say Hitler.
AR: Today, I want to marry my lovely waitress at the Jersey Shore diner. She’s really great on the coffee refills. Alright, who would I kill...
DA: The patriarchy!
AR: Can I kill the patriarchy?! Just the patriarchy in its entirety.
Street: Sure. And who would you fuck?
AR: This one’s boring, but right now I’m super into Chris Hemsworth and I want to fuck him, a lot.
DA: In lieu of violence against women, I’m gonna give some side eye to Katy Perry. I found her half–time show to be horrid. And I don’t think she’s very talented. Then I would marry Carrie Brownstein. And then I would fuck Jennifer Lawrence.
This interview has been condensed and edited.
