Finding out what other people think of you is weird. At best, it's uncomfortable. You want to know until you actually know. It's like when you're a kid and you want to eat dog food. Then you eat dog food and it tastes like ancient Wheat Thins and you'd do anything to get the taste out of your mouth.
That’s what our feature is this week: What Drexel really thinks about us.
This week, a pal informed me, “Oh, she kind of hates you.”
Well, I always suspected that. I didn't want it to matter, but it did.
I wonder: What did I do wrong? Was it because I got pissed at her for her behavior? Is it because I’m loud? Or maybe because I'm socially awkward?
What is it about me that pisses people off?
It’s funny, because I used to need to know 100% that everyone loved me. I needed to know that I would be welcome at any cafeteria table. But that was high school.
Now it’s about me. Now I say I don’t care what people think about me. But when I learn that someone hates me, I do care. I care less, but I care.
I question myself. I re–evaluate.
And then I think about the highly underrated 2006 single “Bossy” by Kelis and Too $hort, my motto. (Yes, for approximately six hours an iteration of this was spray-painted on my wall.) “You don’t have to like me, but you will respect me.”
I’m probably not going to wear uni–frame sunglasses and a latex tankini like Kelis. Or paint my dog blue (RIP Patriot, beloved deceased dog), but I will listen to that song until I believe it.
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Heart$,
Alex
