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This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.4.2014
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Shaved her head recently - not cute
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Christina Aguilera
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Soulja Boy Tell Em-
Asked me to give him a kiss first, don’t wanna do it IRL & mom hasn’t gotten my RAZR fixed yet
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Lil Bow Wow-
Says he’s no longer little, doesn’t do this shit anymore
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Disappeared last week
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Madonna-
No, mom. This concert is for ME NOT FOR YOU
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Wants to bring her daughter = MORE NO
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R Kelly-
Doesn’t like girls
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Britney Spears
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50 cent-
Likes girls too much
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Mariah Carey-
Thinks everyone’s obsessed with her. They’re actually obsessed with me
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Daddy Yankee -
Lil Mama
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Might steal lip gloss from goodie bags
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Cheap
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Sean Paul-
Ugh can’t understand him over the phone
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MiMS
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I HAVE TO HAVE HIM CUZ THIS IS WHY IM HOT
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I REALLY WANT HIM
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ugh how many times can he play that song over and over, maybe not
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Taio Cruz
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Tells these boys like it is - IM GONNA BREAK UR HEART!!!! LOL
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From the UK. More expensive?? Might detract from Benz $
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Sean Kingston
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Parade following him will make me look POPULAR!
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Plus, he thinks I’m beautiful. (I am)
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...but do we really want fire?
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Akon-
Locked up they wont let him out :(
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Jessica Simpson-
No, mom
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Cheetah Girls (x)
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NO, MOM.
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Ne-Yo
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Dreamy!!!!!
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Can be my lullaby instead <333
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EMINEM-
Never opened my letters
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Gwen Stefani-
Prettier than me
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Justin Timberlake
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PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE
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PLEASE
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Fergie
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Milky milky NAH
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XZIBIT
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Too busy pimpin rides
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Already working on the car
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Usher-
TIFF HAD HIM AT HER PARTY LAST WEEEEEEEEK!
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Ciara
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CAN TEACH US TO DANCE x33333
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Chamillionaire (x)
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NO MOLLY AT. MY. PARTY!!!!!!!!! (Editor’s Note: They see me rollin… is this clear? lol)
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