Welcome back, Baby Quakes. Did you miss us? Fall break doesn’t mean a break from gossip. What happens in Vegas, doesn’t stay in Vegas—sorry, seniors.
Try avoiding drugs—just let the good times roll. This past weekend, some Penn seniors got a little too wild in Vegas with a seemingly unlimited drug supply. One rowdy senior boy popped Molly and ripped lines of coke. Unfortunately, the cocktail of drugs put him in the hospital, and medical tests showed nine different substances in his body. We’re happy to say that he’s back at Penn safely, but please note: don’t trust Vegas dealers and stick to your West Philly connections (Ed. note: see the True Life above).
Apparently money flowed even more than drugs in Sin City this past weekend. Highbrow hears that the Vegas debauchery continued when a senior lost a few thousand dollars while gambling. Next time, take your sunglasses off at the tables. Not to throw shade, but you really need to watch your money.
While walking in Philly’s gayborhood, a drunk Theta sophomore felt threatened by an approaching, wildly–dressed figure. In an attempt to ward off the presumed pursuer, the girl yelled “We didn’t do anything to you, don’t get too close!” The offended Philadelphian proceeded to yank the sophomore’s hair, and her two male companions quickly pounced into action. Luckily, the police appeared in the nick of time and intervened. Remember, when you’re wandering Philly streets at night—don’t be a drag, just be a queen.
Sometimes quantity is better than quality. After a senior boy and sophomore girl hooked up, our female friend decided it was bedtime. Her hook-up buddy, however, felt the night was still young. He decided to go back out, and seemingly forgot about the lover still in his bed. The boy brought someone else home, and our rested friend woke up to the duo having sex in the same room. Next time, bring your girl French toast and refrain from French kissing another biddy. Highbrow concludes that chivalry is dead.
