Day 1
It’s 1:47 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and I’m standing in my dorm, staring at a boring white bag with the word “Soylent” across the top. It’s odd to think that this bag, roughly the size of an iPad mini, contains all the carbs, protein and nutrients I’ll need for the next 48 hours.
I take a whiff at the powder inside. At first, it smells like cookie dough. Then oatmeal. Then...Playdough? After following the instructions (water+ powder + fish oil?), I end up with a thick liquid that reminds me of chocolate milk. This is to be my breakfast...and lunch...and dinner.
This is Soylent. Not like soylent green, a cannibalistic wafer from an old ‘70s. It’s the liquid meal replacement invented to “take food out of the daily equation” and could potentially cure world hunger. This is the blend that someone claimed to have exclusively consumed for seven months without ever eating a single piece of food.
It tastes like watered down oatmeal protein powder. It’s not bad, and it’s certainly time–efficient since I now have nine minutes to speedwalk over to DRL. Two hours later I drink some more and resume my day. Once I finish class at 3:00 p.m. I try and calculate how many calories I’ve “eaten” so far. I’m running on about 320 calories since the morning. I know I normally consume more by this point, so I drink 200 calories more.
Around 5:00 p.m. I get a mild headache. After reading the instructions manual, I learn that this is what happens if you don’t slowly build your consumption to allow for your body’s adjustment to the new nutrient/fiber delivery system. I don’t want to experience any of the other possible side–effects of quitting food cold turkey so I head to Kings Court and grab a bowl of soup and some grapes. I’m feeling really healthy at this point, I feel optimistic that it is in fact possible to avoid the Freshman 15. I go to sleep content and full on my Soylent and soup.
Day 2
I wake up and drink about 200 calories. I’m craving an omelet.
Once classes end, I come back to the quad and drink 200 more calories before I head off to the city. I come back, drink a little more and go to a meeting. Not needing to spend time to sit down and eat is extremely efficient. I like efficiency. But I also like food. I miss it and it doesn’t help that my mom sent a care package of dried mangoes and delicious asian ramen crackers.
On my way back, I make a grilled cheese with tomatoes and have another bowl of soup. I definitely miss food. I feel a little strange as I eat, almost as if I’m high from eating. Is it possible to get high off of food?
I cheat again with an entire bag of popcorn, and then later a bowl of instant ramen.
Day 3
Soylent goes bad after 48 hours once it’s in liquid form, so I’m forced to make up a new batch this morning.
I cheat with a salad, and then later with pasta, rice and ice cream.
Throughout the night I feel very normal. I’m not more lethargic, nor am I more energetic than usual. Probably because I ate so much normal food.
Day 4
I wake up and realize I have to take my Soylent on the go. I leave the quad trying to drink lukewarm Soylent from a bright red solo cup at 1:00 p.m. I look like an idiot.
Fast forward to the evening and I’m at a date night. I drink some pretty sugary drinks, but they don’t count as “food” so that’s not breaking my vow of “no more food” for the day. While my alcohol tolerance was definitely lowered by my lack of food, it’s not a drastic change and I’m able to consume about two–thirds of what I normally would before I’m in a good place.
Day 5
Waking up and hopping out of bed, I’m ready to start a whole day of no food and only Soylent. I’m pumped for the day, excited to be healthy...and then I slip and bash my head on the corner of my desk.
After a few hours of only Soylent and intense studying, I realize I slipped because I was clumsy, not because I was light–headed or anything. My concentration is fine as long as I’m still getting my nutrients. I feel energetic as ever, colors seem brighter and I’ve saved so much time by sitting and studying instead of leaving to get actual food. I can see why engineers everywhere are jumping on this train.
But then again, this is only the fifth day. Check back with me when I’ve drank a whole month.
