Freshman girl at APES: This frat is the sceniest of the scene.

Future SDT Sister: I went to camp with every girl from Jericho, but I don’t know her. Maybe there are two Jerichos.

Wannabe Scenester: I only play champagne pong when I wear nice clothes.

TriDelt Betch: That freshman girl is kind of pretty but she’s wearing Coach...

SAE Liar: We couldn’t have sex because she said my penis was just too big.

Frat bro: We didn't have a condom so I wrapped my dick in Saran Wrap.