2:30 p.m.: Arrive late to Houston Hall portion of Relay. Why is no one here? We're offering shelter from the rain, and it's for cancer research!
2:37 p.m.: Okay wait cool here's a group of people. And is that fondue?
2:52 p.m.: Wow I'm really glad that we set up water pong so the four guys who are here could properly assert their masculinity amidst all this estrogen. Seriously, you're too cool for free food, Henna, chubby bunny AND interacting with females?
3:00 p.m.: PHOTO BOOOOOTH. Pictures with mah girlzzz and all these fun purple props!! But also "I Relay For..." signs to remember those we have lost to cancer/those who have survived it.
3:01 p.m.: Man, balancing the fun with the serious here can be sort of hard. Relay for Life problems, amirite?
5:29 p.m.: Walking from Houston to the Palestra, holy shit it is so nice outside.
6:01 p.m.: Having Relay inside means everyone brought their laptops...
6:30 p.m.: Opening ceremonies starting, people saying stuff, Penn band playing some tunes, feels like we're off to a good start!
6:32 p.m.: Confirmed that Beta has made attending all of Relay a hazing event for pledges. Group of attractive boys are Beta pledges. Because boys being interested in Relay for Life is not really a thing. Got it, boys.
6:39 p.m.: Ugh can we pick a different song than "Don't Stop Believin'" to be "inspiring" during the opening lap!? (Just kidding, I will always be inspired by this song, I AM A SMALL TOWN GIRL. YOU GET ME JOURNEY.)
6:41 p.m.: OOOH yes, 99 Red Luftballoons. **walking laps with friends who are there**
7:15 p.m.: Text received from a friend wondering when the free food will make its entrance so she can coordinate her arrival. Sigh. Texting back the information, but, like, where is the passion for raising money for the ACS?
7:20 p.m.: Popcorn purchased. Good decision.
7:32 p.m.: Slept only four hours last night, coffee now purchased. We've really got our bases covered in terms of the food groups.
7:53 p.m.: Speaking of food, people are rushing over to free pizzas.
8:26 p.m.: Finally, all of my friends have showed up—ain't nothin' like Relay with your friends.
8:47 p.m.: Beta pledges spotted hauling four pizza boxes back to their nest at the sports desk where they have camped because they are able to properly assert their manliness there.
9:31 p.m.: Strictly Funk performing will never fail to make me feel totally, physically inferior in every way possible. Teach me your ways, guys.
10:00 p.m.: Everyone's down on the court for the Luminaria and the survivor/remembrance speeches. Hope you're all ready for these waterworks, first time Relayers.
10:14 p.m.: Oh my God who let moms get cancer? How could you do that to children? Tears falling more freely than the first time I watched “A Little Princess.”
10:29 p.m.: Never complaining about anything ever again because this kid is talking about surviving bone and lung cancer and how the worst part about it was watching his family suffer, not actually having the cancer—why am I so selfish all the time?!
10:39 p.m: Confirmed that I fucking hate cancer with every fiber of my being.
10:50 p.m.: Talking about the power of the Luminaria ceremony will never not be cheesy but, damn, what a good time to be with your friends.
11:52 p.m.: Pennchants understanding that a boy band medley will always bring down the house.
11:54 p.m.: This may be the delirium setting in, but how can I inform every single member of the Pennchants that I want to date them?
12:37 a.m.: Nope, sorry, not participating in Zumba. But, hey, that instructor has some crazy energy considering it's past midnight...
12:39 a.m.: Okay maybe I'll Zumba a little.
12:41 a.m.: I'm sweaty. This is embarrassing.
1:29 a.m.: Yup Beta pledges still here one minute before the closing ceremony.
1:30 a.m.: Closing ceremonies! Can't believe it's all over; so tired, but also feeling morally superior to everyone who's not here (and also fundraising for cancer is super important).
1:30.5 a.m.: Oh right, I'm not done, I promised my friends they could pie me in the face with whipped cream if they donated to my team....
1:37 a.m.: Getting pied in the face for cancer research is actually kinda fun!
You should also check out Relay for Life: By the Numbers!
