Dear LaLa,
Last week I was blowing this guy after my date night and everything was going pretty well. Then, it seemed to go on forever so I had to stop. It was that awful. Could you share some basic tips so I don’t have to endure the torture that is the BJ for all of eternity?
Sincerely,
Sensitive Gag Reflex
Dear Sensitive Gag Reflex,
That does sounds like quite an unfortunate hook–up. For most of us, using drugs and alcohol makes balance and control much harder. Honestly, we are doing our best and hoping our jaws don’t break in the process, regardless of our sobriety level. Personally, I abide by a pretty strict no head policy. I’d rather fuck. That being said, here are some basic tips for those delving into oral fixation:
1. Positioning
There are two main positions that allow you to fully stimulate your partner during a blow job. You can kneel in front of your partner or, if you’re in bed, put yourself between his legs while facing his body. This ensures that your tongue is in contact with the front part of the penis, which is more sensitive than the back. While lots of people like the classic 69 position, it’s impossible to stimulate the frenulum, which is a small sensitive area just below the head of a penis and stimulating said area greatly increases the quality of a blow job.
2. Proper Lubricant
Sorry to the neat freaks of Penn, but giving head is supposed to be messy. Do not try to constantly swallow all of your drool. If you let things get a little wetter, it makes for a much more enjoyable situation, especially when you use your hand to pump the lower part of your partner’s dick. As I mentioned in my last post, no one likes friction. When your jaw is aching you’re going to want a break, and it’s pathetic if it’s a sad dry hand job.
3. Movements for your hands/tongue/head
This is definitely more of a personal call. You should always do what you feel comfortable doing—that’s the first rule of sex. For beginners or those with a gag reflex, deep–throating can be painful and unpleasant. Luckily, there is a lot more to giving head than that. Most of us will need a break every once in a while. Little kisses or flicking your tongue are always welcome. You can also use your hands to pump up and down, but don’t forget a little wrist action. Finally, you can twist your head when going up and down. Make sure to focus on the upper part of the penis since it will be the most sensitive to this rotation.
4. Balls
Never forget to address a boy’s balls! They contain the potential for stimulating your partner and transform the blow job from good to great. Anything from gently caressing the balls to massaging them can substantially increase pleasure. If you are feeling courageous, you can kiss or suck his testicles.
Things the Guy Can Do to Help His Partner
First, be thankful for every blow job you get, even if your partner enjoys doing it. Try to return the favor to your partner, whatever that means ;). Second, talk is important. Your fuck buddy wants to make sure you are enjoying it so make sure to validate him/her. Finally, a throat is not the same as a vagina. Please remember to only do what your partner wants to do.
Xx,
LaLa
Remember, no question is too dirty. Cum hither asklala@34st.com.
