Walking out of VP on Saturday afternoon, I had five new Grindr messages. Booyah. Three messages were from an old “professional type” looking for a twinky college boy, and the others were from a steamy grad student in the School of Design. As I chatted up the horny hottie, we quickly figured out that he knew my ex–boyfriend. Soon after, the grad student sent me a dick pic that looked eerily familiar. Yes, it turned out to be an old picture of my ex’s pretty peepee. This grad student clearly knew that, when it comes to dick, I have good taste. Apps like Grindr truly facilitate the sharing of dicks—both digitally and physically—in an already small community. Hurrah, hurrah for all the gays!
It was during my senior year of high school that I first entered the free lovin’ gay scene. Not to brag, but I hooked up with an entire friend group—all handsome, LA Ivy League graduates. Cornell, Yale, Princeton...I climbed that Ivy vine all the way to the top. In such a small group, all my clean–cut cuties knew the same intimate details about my body and sexual desires. I looked forward to cutting it down to one Ivy: Penn, a school of 10,000, where I assumed my sex life would belong to me.
I imagined our sweat, saliva and semen making some ultra–gay jungle juice at Penn, and I got a little thirsty. But only a few weeks after freshman NSO, I learned about Penn’s massive Eskimo brother population from another gay freshman. I named a few boys lucky enough to grace my Twin XL, only to find out he got lucky with them too. What’s more, we—and two other frosh—had all blown the same junior. I know I’m an affable guy, but I didn’t know I was so F–able.
It seems like we, as gays, all know each other and have all hooked up with one another—either by applying condoms or by applying the transitive property. Even if I get around more than other gays, it’s still difficult to avoid hooking up with the same people. Like my former L.A. Fuck League, Penn’s gay community feels equally interconnected; queer Quakers are somehow naturally privy to personal details about my sex life.
I want my sex life to be private, but I also want to have sex—a lot of sex. I know that the gay population will always be in the minority, but it feels even smaller in University City. So, right now, I accept the shared semen and the Eskimo brothers. I'll wait until after graduation to vow to keep my private parts private.
