One more week until Highbrow packs its bags and heads for paradise. Yes ducklings, it’s almost our favorite time of year: SPRING BREAK! But until then, we’re getting in shape. Start your engines and your juice cleanses, kittens. Welcome to Puerto Highbrowta.
The bouncers at Smokes’ may be hard on IDs, but they’re easy on bribery. This past weekend, one thirsty AXO was denied entry to the campus watering hole after the bouncer called her on her fake. Determined to get her $9 pitcher and dance floor romance, the lawless lass took matters into her own lips and proceeded to make out with the bouncer. Convinced, the guard ultimately let the srat star into Joe’s kingdom. Who’s the real winner? Highbrow doesn’t know, but there’s hope for those with sub–par IDs.
Highbrow PSA: The UPenn Kappa Alpha Theta Chapter is under review. While the sisters hide away in Intermix dressing rooms, the state of the scene is under review. Who will THEOS bring to their date nights? Will ChiO take over the dance floor at the next Single Eye Production? Will the side part be the new middle part? Only time will tell, but Highbrow speaks for everyone—we’re looking forward to a break from rocking black and shining gold.
One Alpha Phi girl got an early taste of March Madness. After bumping into 76ers player Nerlens Noel at her MyTie at Blur, the pherocious phan got him to exchange numbers. Later that week, she summoned the NBA rookie to Blarney, where he refused to go inside (ed note: respect). The empowered phi–male then used the slam–dunker to drive her to ZBT in his luxury vehicle. After rolling up to the frat, she offered to roll one with Noel, but he declined, probably on the grounds that he is a professional basketball player. Stricken with Alpha Phiver, Noel tried to get the girl back to his “crib,” but she politely declined. This was one point he couldn’t score.
Yes, the Mask & Wig show is still happening, but their clubhouse sink is currently out of order. During a rowdy after–party, one groupie stumbled to the bathroom, eager to relieve herself. For reasons unknown, she neglected the commode and went for the sink. With a resounding crash, the sink unhinged from the wall. Looks like she took “Wishful Sinking” a little too seriously. We know the Mask & Wig show is dirty, and we assume their hands are too.
