“How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”
Yes, this movie takes place over the course of ten days (and through the lens of an insane coincidence), but the characters realize they’re in love on the eighth day when dear old Matt McConaughey and Kate Hudson bang in the shower at his parents’ house.
Watch out overconfident frat boy, we heard The Walk might’ve commissioned a writer to figure out how to dump a guy in ten days this upcoming V–Day. Prepare to be bamboozled.
...Not that we’re privy to The Walk’s content, but hey it could happen.
“Before Sunrise”
Boy meets girl on train, boy offers girl the opportunity to walk aimlessly around Vienna with him. Boy and girl share whimsical intimacies about themselves and say Richard Linklater-y things to each other, then do it in a Viennese public park. Unlikely scenario, you say? Well, just imagine the Uber towncar you’ve ordered to go to NYC gets double–booked and you wind up wandering the streets of Manhattan all night with the boy of your dreams before smanging it in Central Park. Totally plausible.
“Romeo and Juliet” (Let’s go with the 1968 version featuring Zac Efron look–alike, Leonard Whiting)
Yup, the supposed greatest love story of all time takes place over the course of three days. Romeo sees Juliet, visits her balcony, they do some sex stuff, ignore a priest’s warning to take a step back with the whole love thing and then both end up dead. Hopefully your version of “R&J” won’t end up with you and your dearly beloved accidentally offing yourselves, but this love story offers hope for controversial Penn romances like a Wig/Bloomers affair or SDT/St. A's secret rendezvous just in time for V–Day!
“Speed”
In 1994’s “Speed,” Sandy Bullock and Keanu Reeves try to save the lives of a bus full of people strapped to a bomb programmed to detonate if the bus dips below 50 miles per hour. Most of the movie takes place over the course of an afternoon on a public transit bus, yielding a sexy tonsil hockey sesh after just one action–packed day. Maybe SEPTA is a good idea after all.
“Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist”
After spotting her ex at a concert, Norah demands that total stranger Nick pretend to be her boyfriend for five minutes to stick it to the dweeb. The following night’s misadventures feature the two teens falling in love as they search for Nick’s favorite band’s secret show and Norah’s drunk–ass bestie. While we commitment–phobic Quakers might not prefer this type of committed relationship, your trek to Smokes’ might just end with you in the arms of a lost Drexel cutie. Eat that, freshman year hallcest partner.
“The Wedding Date”
In an attempt to get back at an ex–fiance, Debra Messing hires a male escort (the dashing
Dermot Mulroney) as her date for her sister's wedding, where said fiance will appear as best man. The plan goes awry when Messing (surprise!) falls for the hired escort over the course of the wedding. Mulroney declares to Messing, “I’d rather fight with you than make love to anyone else,” and Penn kids everywhere think of the midday hook ups they passed up for long arguments with resentful graduate TAs over the B+/A- line. Love is real, but grades are real–er.
Check back next week for our breakdown of the movies and TV series that helped us realize love is for losers, and night cheese is forever (s/o to Liz Lemon).
