Penn publication editor: Who wrote this, an immigrant?
Girl: Oh, I got hepatitis in Mexico but it’s ok, it was the good kind.
Frat bro on phone: My friend wants to go with you to his date night. He’s a great looking kid, great in bed...he’d settle for a blow job.
Dude in Allegro: You don’t look like Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber is my idol. You are not my idol.
Betch 1: Omg they bought a frat bunny!
Betch 2: When it dies I’ll take its fur.
