I want my nostrils to burn. I want my eyes to water. I want my mouth constantly salivating because the smell and thoughts associated with it are so strong. I want the Sriracha factory to move to Philadelphia.
Recently, the manufacturers of everyone’s favorite rooster sauce have had problems maintaining ownership of their Irwindale, California–based headquarters; the city council of Irwindale has repeatedly called the Huy Fong Foods factory a “public nuisance.” Complainants from both Irwindale and its neighboring city of Baldwin have cited the smell as “bothersome,” and as a result, the US is in danger of losing the delicious chili–sauce that goes well on everything.
So why not welcome Huy Fong to Philly? Sure, it may sting for a little while, but ultimately the benefits outweigh the costs. Not only would Philly gain a landmark far more famous than the Liberty Bell, but it would also have a constant supply of Sriracha and Sriracha–related products. Furthermore, the factory strikes a nice resonance with one of Philly’s most infamous nicknames: Filthadelphia.
Philly’s streets house many a smell and many different categories of litter (I’ve counted needles, dead cats and car parts in some neighborhoods). Wouldn’t the delicious, stinging scent of garlic and chilis be a more welcoming fragrance? If I could exit the 11th street SEPTA terminal and smell the rooster–red odor of industry instead of the pungent stab of trash, I would be grateful.
Let us welcome Huy Fong with open arms and gaping mouths. Let us prepare sandwiches, fried rice and maybe even some Earl Grey ice cream for the occasion. Let us inform Mr. and Mrs. Bui that they will have some steep competition—all Huy Fong Foods needs is its own breakfast truck. Imagine Sriracha–branded egg and cheese sandwiches every morning—a true rooster–lover’s paradise.
