This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013
1. FRYERS
Clank clank clank. After a couple of minutes, the frying pans begin making symphonies at McDonalds. An all–but–guaranteed sound during a McD’s visit.
2. THAT GOD–AWFUL BEEPING SOUND
3. SCREAMING CHILDREN
Listen, mommy, I can handle 10 McNuggets, and you better know I’m gonna scream about it to the whole restaurant if you refuse to see things my way.
4. LOUD CHEWER
We understand that you are eager to consume your Bacon McDouble, but if you can’t keep your mouth closed while you chew, kindly order your food to–go and GET THE FUCK OUT THE RESTAURANT.
5. PENN STUDENT DISCUSSING INTERNSHIP OPTIONS IN LINE
It’s still fall semester you say? Oh, Penn Student Discussing Internship Options knows that, but that doesn’t mean he/she isn’t going to continue to list all the cool places his parents’ friends will let him/her work while waiting in line to order his/her McFlurry.
6. CONFUSED CUSTOMER
Sorry, what are the different numbers of nuggets I can get? Does the price for the dollar menu include tax? And does that come with fries? Do I have to get a fountain drink, though? What if I got a coffee with that instead? What do you mean breakfast isn’t served after 10:30? It’s 10:33! I WANT A MCGRIDDLE.
7. DRUNK PENN STUDENT
Maybe it’s the drunk kid who spilled the coke on the next table, or the confused freshman crying about losing her hall at FIJI or just the blackout vegan society member wondering if it’s okay to eat the fries that touched the nuggets. The Drunk Penn Student comes in many different forms, but what they all have in common is a permanent status at 40th and Walnut streets.
