This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013
Promising that “sipping a McCafé drink is like taking a mini–vacation from your day,” McDonald’s latest “coffee” ad flaunts a winter wonderland popping out of a white chocolate mocha frappe, complete with a snow–crusted gondola gliding straight out of the cup. With just one sip, the promotion promises that the frappe will take you away to an exotic dreamscape—at least for a moment. Think wardrobe–to–Narnia style. Only this time, it’s finals week and the wardrobe to Narnia is actually a sugar–ridden frappe that looks like whipped cream atop muddy water. Almost without realizing it, you opened the wardrobe on 40th Street and find yourself sitting in a dark and grimy Mickey D’s. But hey, at least you’re here—picking which booth looks the least beaten–up so you can sit down and treat yo’self to that McCafé delight. Turns out, it’s actually somewhat calming. Maybe the ad was right. Maybe this frappe and the yellow and red building on the edge of campus that houses it is a “mini–vacation from your day,” and the journey to get there's a kind of pilgrimage to a safe haven. You’re going to need a miracle to pass that orgo final tomorrow, but for the moment, that doesn’t matter. Right now you’re enjoying what the ad promised you: a small, frappy “Miracle on 40th Street.”
