This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013
Fries A large fry is the classic romance food: it's big enough to share, and if you get an extra long one you can totally “Lady and the Tramp” it. Plus, the ungodly amount of salt in each batch will just make you extra thirsty for love.
Chicken McNuggets McNuggets come in four different shapes: “Bone,” “Bell,” “Ball” and “Boot.” The last one, when turned on its side, kinda looks like a malformed heart. Use this to your advantage. Make sure the last nug is a “boot,” so when your McCrush grabs it, you can say “Oh, man, you took my heart.” It’s a good metaphor to drop before they devour it.
Premium Chicken Club Sandwich At $5.19, the Premium Chicken Club is the single most expensive item on the McDonald’s menu—and the most impressive. Throw in a large soda and fries for $2 extra, and ba da ba ba baa: they’re lovin’ you.
McFlurry Spill the McFlurry on yourself and start your very own wet t–shirt contest. Only one contestant enters, but you’ll both win. And also smell like milk for the next 24–48 hours.
Kid’s Meal These pre–packaged pint sized meals may not satiate your hunger for actual food, but they can certainly satiate your hunger for love. Better yet, each of these babies comes with an instant gift for that special someone. Hope he likes Polly Pockets.
