Dear Lowbrow, I have a sharp pain in my lower back after lifting yesterday at Pottruck. It’s basically impossible for me to walk upright. Should I see a doctor? -Lummy Lumbar
Dear Leonard, No. Absolutely not. No pain, no game. Is that the expression? We recommend increasing the amount you usually lift by 50 lbs. Try lifting with your back, and always use fast, sudden movements. Oh, and try not to be such a pussy next time. -Lowbrow
Dear Lowbrow, I failed my last midterm. Should I start going to class? -Sally Skipsalot
Dear Simon, Have you heard about the option to withdraw? We hear med schools are enchanted by lots of W’s. How many do you have? What do the W’s stand for you ask? Wonderful, wacky, whimsical, Worcestershire, etc. -Lowbrow
Dear Lowbrow, I just got hit by a car on my bike. I think my leg is broken. Is it 919? Where did my friends go? -Injured Ike
Dear Bike, It’s 191! Your friends are gone! Run! To the nearest payphone! Quick! Your safety’s been compromised! -Lowbrow
Dear Lowbrow, I want to do a fraternity, but I’m worried about hazing and its effect on my grades. What should I do? -Fratstar Frank
Dear Farréll, Absolutely. 100%. -Lowbrow
Dear Lowbrow, I’m looking for some campus shortcuts on my way to class, any tips? -Karl Abrams-Jaffe
Dear Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, What an honor! An NBA great writing in to Lowbrow! Sir, you should be giving us tips, sir. What’s your secret Kareem? Don’t be shy. -Lowbrow
Dear Lowbrow, What’s a generous amount to give a homeless person? -Giving Garry
Dear Garáge, What would Jesus do? As Jesus once said, “I can cut the front and back for $20.” He's a great gardener. What were we talking about? -Lowbrow
Querido populachero, Cuántos años tienen ustedes? -Alfredo
Dear Abuela, Para mi, un té helado por favor. -Lowbrow
Dear Lowbrow, They fixed all the lights in 1920 Commons. I’m looking for another spot on campus with poor lighting. Any recommendations, you guys? -Anonymous
Dear Judy, We know it’s you. What the fuck. Fuck you, Judy. -Lowbrow
