1. Miley Cyrus
There’s a Miley™ for every taste! Feeling cute and cuddly? Try a pre–nude–latex VMA Dancing Bear Miley™! Thirsty for adventure and a little bit more? Why not be a Terry Richardson–approved, Arizona Ice Tea–lovin’ Raunchy Miley™? Or, for the ironic hipsters out there, a Disney Channel Miley™ will do just fine.
2. "Breaking Bad"/"Game of Thrones"
Probably the scariest two costumes this Halloween. Sure, on the outside they’ll look pretty generic with their oversized hazmat suits and white wigs. But you know, lurking underneath their pop–culture–loving facades, they hide the truly scariest thing of all: spoilers.
3. Bear
Urban Outfitters, or Penn’s Number One Place to Buy Gifts for Friends or Anything That is Slightly Outside the Penn Zeitgeist, is selling bear “coat” costumes this year, and convenience is the only reason that this is on the list.
4. Out–of–Work Government Employee
A “Government shut me down… Will Party 4 Food” sign is all the lazy Halloweener needs to be topical this year. Combine it with the Urban Outfitters bear coat and at least you can be an unemployed Smokey the Bear.
5. “Gravity” Astronaut
Hopefully you will come up with a costume more Oscar-worthy than a fishbowl would be. Bonus: this costume lends itself to a ton of awful pickup lines. Like, “are your pants from Mars, because your booty is out of this world” awful.
6. Blue Ivy/North West/Another Celebrity Baby
Battle of the babies! Honestly, we think Blue Ivy will be the most popular celebritot, because how the hell can you dress like North West? Wear a compass and call it a day?
7. “What Does the Fox Say?” Fox
RING–DING–DING–DING–DINGERINGEDING!
8. Tom Cruise from "Risky Business"
Specific? Sure. Slightly obsolete? Yeah, kinda. Tom Cruise, really? We know! But this costume literally happens every year. Maybe it’s a documented scientific phenomenon or something.
9. Sexy Kitten
Okay, look ladies: you’re going to say that this year, things are going to be different. You’re going to actually spend some time and effort on making a costume that’s not only tasteful, but clever, too. But then midterms will happen and suddenly time will just get away from you. And that’s when you’ll grab the cat ears and the black eyeliner and be a stupid fucking sexy kitten.
10. Throwback to 2012: PSY
Hey, he released one single this year, right? Right?
