This week I want to dim the lights for 34st, and talk about the all-important, collegiate sex playlist. If two tweens passionately embrace without M83 in the background, did the tweens really embrace at all?
Ladies, if you walk into a boy’s HamCo room with candles scented like Indonesian Woods, and a nightstand sprawled with “casual” Pocket Poet Series collections, you’ve just stumbled into an Ivy Leaguers version of the Love Shack. Obviously, no dorm room grotto is complete without a 12-track expression of the heart. Extra points for Bluetooth speakers so you can get that special vibe started remotely from the corner booth at Allegros. The music needs to be introduced seamlessly- it’s not cute to penguin waddle over to your laptop to “set the mood”.
I’m not here to tell you how to organize or curate your tunes because that’s a personal choice (pro tip: lead with Balam Acab’s “Apart”). I’m here to advise you on the medium.
If you’re not paying for Spotify at this point, don’t highlight your stunted development by the rude interruption of a Taco Bell commercial mid-thrust: “This mediocre sex has been brought to you by Doritos Locos Tacos.”
For those with poor music taste, please don’t submit to the temptation to ‘be yourself’ and strip to Toby Keith; Pandora’s automated playlists have you covered. I’ve not much of a Pandora user, but I’ve been writing this article to the playlist “R&B Love Songs” and I must admit I feel frisky.
Others rely on the Soundcloud DJ set, which can last for hours with the added bonus of intermittent live-audience applause to give your ego a nitrous boost. Beware if those chants of “How we feeling Barcelona?” will bring up tear-inducing memories of that señorita-who-got-away on Spanish spring break. Nothing kills the perfectly curated mood like tears.
Choose wisely- your lover may not remember your name the next morning, but your flawless soundtrack will be the stuff of legends.
