Every college student has one of those lazy Saturdays. For College junior Jackie Joseph, this is an art form to be perfected. Jackie watches television and video lectures from class on her laptop so she can stay in her room all the time.
“I basically never leave my bed, it’s great,” she said, leaning her torso over the side of her bed, opening the mini–refrigerator beside her bed, taking out leftover oatmeal and placing it in the microwave resting on top of her mini–refrigerator. “I watch a lot of documentaries on Netflix.”
For Jackie, her main innovation was discovering that if she put her laptop on her belly, she could put her instant oatmeal bowl on her chest and would never have to pause “Law and Order: SVU” ever again.
“Sometimes I spill stuff on my keyboard, and that’s really hard ‘cause the keys get sticky and crusty, but I just try and stay positive,” she said. “I’m always striving for self-improvement.”
However, Janet, one of Jackie’s friends who spoke to us on the condition of anonymity, is concerned.
“I visit her in her room every week, and there’s this dried speck of food on her cheek that’s been there for over a month,” she said.
At press time, Jackie was eating maple and brown sugar instant oatmeal and watching a bootleg of “Don Jon” when she sneezed and—oh, boy, the oatmeal is everywhere. What a mess.
