After a stressful week of exams, College sophomore Alvin Kaplan was all set for a fun evening out on the town—but something was holding him back.
Alvin had run out of clean clothes.
“I got out of the shower, and that’s when it hit me,” Alvin said. “Normally I do laundry every week, but this week I had exams, and it just… okay, not every week.”
Obviously, Alvin’s first move was to reuse his underwear. Using a complex inside–out technique, Alvin was able to wear yesterday’s underwear once more, unsightly tire tracks notwithstanding.
“It’s not like anyone can see it,” he said.
He then put on his finest wrinkled clothing, looked at himself in the mirror, shrugged, and left.
“I do this a lot, and nobody’s noticed yet,” Alvin said.
“Everyone notices,” said Alvin’s friend Russell, who spoke to us on the condition of anonymity. “It’s okay as a last resort, but at least febreeze that shit.”
At press time, Alvin was doing the smell test on his shirt while his friends weren’t looking. The shirt smelled gross.
