It’s officially fall and you know what that means: it’s time for Amy Gutmann to start walking around campus in her peacoat, looking like a majestic Mary Poppins. But that’s not all we have to look forward to: Highbrow also scrounged up some gossip for you, ducklings.
Highbrow hears the leaves weren’t the only things falling this weekend. One freshman took trailer–park–chic to a whole new level at the annual THEOS white trash extravaganza. This redneck wannabe made a grand exit from the party, as she was carried out by a noble bro, panties at her ankles, tampon blowing in the breeze. Onlookers remarked about how well her vaginal accessory completed her costume. Maybe next time THEOS should throw a red trash party…
Speaking of blood, sources say TEP had quite the eventful pregame with Chi O before their foam party. It’s a classic story: Boy meets girl, boy and girl hit it off, boy and girl DFMO, boy and girl make love for the first time, boy returns to party covered in blood sporting a bloody condom on his shoulder. Ah, yes, true romance. Don’t worry girl, we’ve all been there. Losing things in the foam is just a rite of passage.
The typical Beta sausagefest got a little more meaty this weekend as campus was flooded with an onslought of Beta dads. We hear some of the dads got a little handsy as they got a feel for college life… and by college life, we mean college girls. At a MGMT 100 BYO, one of the dads apparently grabbed a Wharton sophomore’s booty over a carne asada platter. Can you say hornitos? But that’s not all. In order to really get a feel for the Penn life, the dads also hit up campus hot spot Smokey Joe’s. One father purchased a beverage for a young co–ed. She thanked him for his generosity by asking him, “Can I call you daddy?” To which he promptly responded, “No.”
“All eyes on me in the center of the ring, just like a circus,” must have been the thought on one girl’s mind at one Elmo senior’s circus–themed birthday party this past weekend. The girl was spotted covered in body paint, completely naked, with hearts painted onto her nipples. Talk about going all out for a theme. She picked the right venue though; we doubt anywhere but Elmo would be so accepting of female nudity and body paint.
