Dear NBC, Fade in on a recapper With a hunger for “Smash” And a love for Broadway one must remember The past bad episodes fade away Because as of this day “Smash” is so beyond GREAT Renew before it’s too late!
“Bombshell” has finally opened on Broadway and it is a glorious accomplishment for all parties involved – cast, writers, producers and faithful viewers. GIVE US SEASON THREE, at least so Katharine McPhee can play the part far more suited to her than Marilyn ever was: Daisy Buchanan in Julia’s upcoming stage adaptation of “The Great Gatsby.”
1. CAMEOS GALORE. The actual songwriters of all of the original music on “Smash,” Marc Shaiman and Scott Whitman (“Hairspray”), guest star as themselves at the premiere of “Bombshell,” prompting Anjelica Huston to double kiss them each as viewers cry “META!”
Additionally, Rosie O’Donnell is in the audience, because why not? She spills the beans to Debra Messing that Tom is in talks to direct a revival of “City of Angels,” which crushes Julia, because she and Tom just acquired rights for a musical of “The Great Gatsby.” And they bonded over Fitzgerald when they first met. And maybe Leo DiCaprio will reprise his titular role from the upcoming film that “Smash” ignored for legal reasons and make his Broadway debut! A recapper can dream.
But wait – there’s another Leo in town, and this one is not Jack from “Titanic.” No, Julia’s idea for “Gatsby” came from her son, Leo, who we all thought had been exiled from primetime television. Since season one, he’s grown a few inches taller and got a haircut, and he still can’t act. BEGONE LEO.
Last but not least, the one and only Bernadette Peters is back, playing Ivy’s mother Leigh Conroy playing Marilyn’s mother, and she’s there to give Ivy a classic non-pep talk, reminding her she has come so far, so “go show them” – eschewing any complimenting of her panicking daughter whose soul has been crushed by message boards calling her a chorus girl for life.
2. IVY LYNN STEALS THE SHOW. Luckily, Bernadette’s Mama Roseing does not get in the way of Ivy positively killing it and commanding the stage as Marilyn on opening night. Megan Hilty is luminous and, while we fast-forward through almost all the magnificent tunes, she knocks closing anthem “Don’t Forget Me” out of the park.
She might as well have been singing to the Emmy voters, because Meg has been a consistent triple threat, even when this show was prone to hate-watchers. (Any hate-watcher over the last few episodes should be crestfallen – because “Smash” has finally found its stride as an at-times-intentionally-comedic ode to the magic of musical theatre. Take that.)
3. A DUELING DUET. And in a crowd-pleasing turn of events, Karen and Ivy’s awkward bathroom run-in turns into a heart-to-heart about their mutual jealousy, and Kat McPhee puts aside her “Why wasn’t I Marilyn” whininess to DUET with Megan Hilty in a fabulous cover of Sinatra’s “That’s Life,” accompanied by Marc Shaiman! Megan’s voice is on a different level, but this rare duet actually highlighted them both as forces to be reckoned with. Yes, it’s a spontaneous performance at the “Bombshell” after-party, perfectly memorized and harmonized, but at one point, Ivy changes the lyrics to “Eileen Rand” on the fly, so all is forgiven.
In the bathroom, Ivy jokingly makes Karen promise not to do Broadway this season, but assures her that her time will come soon. Sooner than you think, Marilyn! Derek and Scott want to fast-track “Hit List” to Broadway, fulfilling the prophecy of a season finale at the Tony Awards: “Bombshell” vs. “Hit List.” Tom vs. Derek. And of course, Ivy vs. Karen. Who wants TEAM BOMBSHELL shirts? It’s the new Aniston/Jolie.
4. LADIES, LEAVE YOUR MEN AT HOME. Breakup city! Ivy and Derek have been sleeping around (ugh), but homegirl is slick enough to reject his proposal of public dating and brush him off when he requests a post-premiere booty call, since she’s figured out she was his backup after Karen went for Jimmy the Awful. Ever the sleazebag, Derek runs into that dancer who is suing him for sexual harassment and takes her home. You’re a star, Ivy. You go girl!
A hesitant “you go girl” to Karen Cartwright, who is off-again with effing Jimmy. We’ll see if it lasts (doubtful), but if you’ve actually cut ties, feminist snaps for you. Jimmy’s “sordid past” is now exposed – that creepy guy now dating Ahna is his brother, who got him hooked on drugs after his father abused him and ruined his life before Kyle the Angel said “Today 4 U, Tomorrow 4 Me” and saved him. Collective eye-roll to this cliché sob story. If you started afresh and aren’t a bad guy anymore, why are you always a moody jerk? When you were happy at the beginning of this episode, we didn’t like you any more. Karen calls it quits when he punches his brother against her pleas. Go brood in Brooklyn and get off my “Smash,” Jimmy the Awful.
And Eileen is so done with Richard Francis, against the wishes of PR queen Agnes, played original “Rent” Mimi, Daphne Rubin-Vega. Guess Kyle really is the aforementioned Angel…Dumott Schunard.
The only one who didn’t just come to say “Goodbye, Love” is Julia, who sucked face with Scott (original Tom Collins, okay that’s enough) in the back of a limo after he said she could write a “Gatsby” play without Tom’s songs, if he does “Angels” or just dumps her, because they’re like totally growing apart. Also Tom went home with Kyle, who was subtly confirmed as gay (kudos for the casual factor in his primetime “coming out”), but is still the creepiest bed partner Tom could ever have (save ELLIS, who did just that in a dream sequence last week). AHH GROSS TOM LEVITT SEX LIFE.
5. "WE'RE GONNA SWEEP THE TONYS. GET READY AGNES, WE'VE GOT A CAMPAIGN TO LAUNCH." So says the incomparable Eileen Rand to Daphne Rubin-Vega. Ben Brantley of the New York Times gave “Bombshell” a rave like everyone else – except he called Tom’s direction “overblown” and diagnosed a disconnect between the formerly flawless twosome of Houston & Levitt. “It’s not true!” Julia and Tom cry. But it totally is – they’ve been having drama, and we don’t want no drama (no no drama). Okay, we do want drama, but the wedge between Julia and Tom is growing with his newfound love of directing. Agnes is wary of a big ad campaign in the face of this Brantley criticism, but as Julia says, he only loves you if you’re in the pages of Us Weekly (foreal, BB loves celebs on Broadway).
So, with her fierce can-do attitude, Eileen commands Agnes to double the funding and then bellows the above quote. It was a magical enough moment to cancel out the fact that Agnes told her to tell critic Richard she wasn’t wearing underwear earlier in the episode (just no).
When Anjelica Huston nonchalantly poured a bucket of ice onto Jimmy and brother during their battle of fisticuffs, they must have been cold. But it couldn’t compare to the chills this recapper got when Eileen proclaimed a “Bombshell” Tony triumph.
STANDING OVATION.
