1. LIZA WITH A Z(OMG). They say “Smash” is a sinking ship, and NBC’s sassy moving of the musical drama to Saturday nights is not helping matters, ratings-wise. But if Liza freakin’ Minelli is making a guest appearance singing an original song, I’d wager that the show deserves a few million more viewers. Liza, in all her kooky Lucille Austero glory, is brought in by Tom to serenade birthday girl Ivy, as a way of mending their friendship. (Ivy’s majorly P-Oed Tom hired her mother, Bernadette Peters as Leigh Conroy, for “Bombshell.”) Highlight: Ivy’s walking out because she thinks Tom called the press (it was Eileen, duh) and Liza commands her to sit, prompting an awestruck “Okay…Liza Minelli.” (When she does leave, she forgets her keys, prompting a very “Gossip Girl” unfortunate run-in, in which Tom walks in on her secret fiesta with the rest of the cast.) Realistic that Liza would drop everything to publicly perform a song written in mere hours for a non-celeb? Not really. That she’d be completely off-book, lyrics-wise? Impossible. Still, her short and sweet treat of an appearance felt like a cabaret, old chum.
2. (MORE THAN USUAL AMOUNT OF) DRAMA ON THE SET OF HIT LIST. Oh my god, love triangles worthy of sabotaging the quality of a show for personal gain! Only on “Smash.” Jimmy and Karen are sneaking around like teenagers at sleepaway camp, making out in the costume closet (complete with vomit-worthy texts like “you’re needed in wardrobe, again :)”). Jimmy also tells Karen she “shouldn’t be doing that” when she mentions she’s thinking, so he’s also kind of sexist now. Derek’s mad so he’s cool with Kyle (with dramaturg team Julia and Scott) reworking the show to minimize Karen’s part and expand The Diva. The episode’s big cliffhanger is Ivy giggling with glee to see her ex-director Derek, so maybe they’re a thing again now. But more importantly: Karen finds the cocaína in Jimmy’s coat pocket! Because most people carry baggies around as conspicuously as one does one’s wallet. Karen, baby, just dump his pouty ass. In her (corny) words, “I thought you were more of a man.”
3. DRAMATURGS FALL IN LOVE. No insult is more scandalous in the world of “Smash” than dramaturg, at least to the renowned Julia Houston, who makes some horrified faces at the notion of being classified as such. Still, she helps Scott and Kyle rework “Hit List”…while reworking her LOVE LIFE. BOOM DEBBIE MESSING. Sparks were a-flyin’ with ex-enemies Scott and Jules, who are about to become a thing. Sigh. We miss Michael Swift. And that dramaturg Peter was hotter. But this guy is Collins from “Rent.” And the original Mimi is the publicist for “Bombshell” now. So, you know, Deb’s about to light her candle and such.
4. EILEEN RAND SEX LIFE UPDATE. Thankfully, no Anjelica Huston skin in this episode, but, never to be single, Eileen is flirting up a storm with the New York Times critic, who is conveniently covering “Hit List” and was wowed by their performance of original song “Original” (“She wants to be original / she will become remarkable”…eh). Anyway, Eileen is “taking it slow” with Richard because she’s “still not over her last relationship.” You know, the one with the 40something who’s in jail for fraud now? Just hold on to your seats––we’ve clearly got some more blushing Anjelica in our future. Yikes.
5. A COVER DONE RIGHT? Maybe “Smash” finally figured out how to work in covers of pop songs without being “Glee”-ishly awkward. Instead of Karen and Ivy drunkenly singing Rihanna’s “Cheers (Drink to That)” in Times Square, or Karen covering Florence + The Machine’s “Shake it Out” at a Bar Mitzvah, Megan Hilty beautifully covered The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony” over a montage of the characters sighing and opening doors. (We thought there was a shock in Tom’s apartment, but no, he’s just giving us a tour of his home. But maybe that’s because “Bittersweet Symphony” evokes “Cruel Intentions” to me. Mmmm.) Pointless? Kind of. But it made for a lovely score that didn’t feel forced into the teleplay. Not that I would be mad if “Smash” stuck to “Bombshell” originals, because seriously, this fake show’s songs are exquisite.
