1. Climbing that House: Elevated surfaces may seem like prime locations, but you won’t be in such high spirits in the hospital when you’re recovering from that fall.
2. Green Grub: “Eat your greens!” Remember that old piece of advice from mom? Not on St. Patrick’s Day. That mystery green cocktail is not a kale smoothie.
3. Taking that Tenth Shot: You will end up feeling more green than you (pun) intended.
4. Going Coatless: The green pinnie may have seemed like the perfect addition to your St. Paddy’s Day ensemble, but disclaimer: bro tanks not conducive for snow and/or hail. Next year, check the weather.
5. Drinking the “St. Patrick’s Day Special”: Your big mistake was having high expectations for high-quality day-drinking – it looks like it tastes.
6. Instant Muploads: Next year, at least change your privacy settings. Grandma didn’t find your behavior too saintly.
7. Kegs n’ Eggs: So much for a breakfast of champions. Next year stick to Irish coffee.
8. St. Patrick’s Night: Should have quit while you were ahead – no one appreciates being asked for directions to the St. Patty’s pregame at 8 p.m. It’s called St. Patrick’s Day for a reason.
9. Going for the Leprechaun: Next year try to find a way to celebrate the Irish without lowering your height standards and going for men in skirts.
10. Didn’t Drink Enough: Waking up still drunk is better than waking up hungover.
