Vice President Joe Biden was recently selected to be this year's commencement speaker, and quite frankly, Lowbrow could not be more thrilled! Why do we love Joe Biden as this year's pick? Well... because we love to laugh at Joe. Joe's been known to get himself into, erhm, trouble during speeches and we wouldn't expect anything less during this year's commencement.
1. "Congrats to the newest graduating class of Nittany Lions!"
2. "When they told me I would be receiving an honorary doctorate, I said thank God, now I can write my own prescriptions."
3. "That's the firmest shake I've had in a while..." – said to Amy Gutman after shaking hands at the podium.
4. "When I was sitting where you were, I never thought in hell there'd be a black president, and here we are.. .so I guess even the most unbelievable things are possible"
5. "If I can give you all any advice, it's to shoot for the stars and even if you miss you'll land on the... no that's not right... how the hell does that saying go? What's that? It doesn't even make any goddamn sense the other way. Forget it. It's a stupid phrase."
6. "The founder of electricity was also the founder of this great university."
7. "It has been an honor to work as vice president to Barack Hussein Osama. Fuck! I mean Obama!”
8. "Oh shit I just said fuck... oh fuck I just said shit. Balls."
9. "That's a big button you got here on campus—and you know what they say about big buttons."
10. "I'm not quite sure why the University asked me to be here today, but hell, we'll go with it"
